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Video Which of The “Friends” Are You? | Bad Internet
11:54   |   02/23/2019 at 22:58


  • - One, two, three, four.
  • B-L-U-E.
  • - And then he stepped backwards,
  • and he squashed a slug with is bare foot,
  • and it just like exploded everywhere!
  • It was so cool.
  • - So gross.
  • I'm trying to eat breakfast.
  • - No you're not.
  • You're just staring at it.
  • What are you, nervous?
  • - No, I'm not!
  • Jeez, you're such a brat.
  • - [Boy] Mom, can I have Sarah's milkshake?
  • She's not hungry.
  • - I remember the day I got sorted.
  • I didn't sleep a wink,
  • and I only managed half a shake
  • before I threw-up everywhere.
  • - Did you know?
  • You know, where you'd be placed?
  • - Well, no, I wasn't sure.
  • But then I wasn't surprised, either!
  • The quiz is very accurate.
  • - I wish I knew what was on it.
  • - Well if you knew, it wouldn't be fair, now would it?
  • - You nervous?
  • God, I was.
  • I only managed half a shake before I puked everywhere.
  • That's what makes us Monica's I guess.
  • Very highly strung.
  • - I can't believe our little girl's finally going
  • to find out which of the friends from 'Friends' she is?
  • - I've got a pretty good guess.
  • - Yeah, everyone knows she's gonna be a Gunther!
  • - Oliver, take that back!
  • - I'm just kidding.
  • - We'll be there for you, kiddo,
  • however you get sorted.
  • - 'Cause you're there for us too.
  • That's how it works!
  • (laughter)
  • (suspenseful music)
  • (chatter)
  • - I'll be there for you, Sarah.
  • - I'll be there for you, Alex.
  • - Have you studied?
  • Man, I don't know what I'd do if I hadn't studied.
  • - Everyone knows you can't study, you liar.
  • Aren't you nervous?
  • - Are you kidding me?
  • Could I be any more of a Phoebe?
  • - Can you stop messing around?
  • The Rachel is coming.
  • - You are such a Ross.
  • (squeaking)
  • (door squeaks)
  • (choir sings 'Friends' theme song)
  • ♪I'll be there for you
  • ♪When the rain start to fall
  • ♪I'll be there for you
  • ♪Like I've been there before
  • ♪I'll be there for you
  • ♪Because you're there for me too
  • ♪Which of the friends are you♪
  • - I'll be there for you.
  • - [Audience] I'll be there for you.
  • - For many years,
  • our society lived in conflict and strife.
  • Life was hard.
  • Our jobs were a joke.
  • We were broke,
  • and a nuclear holocaust wiped out most of humanity.
  • But, we finally came to the fundamental truth.
  • That every member of society
  • fits snugly into one of six types.
  • The Monica's.
  • Practical and nurturing.
  • The Ross's.
  • Scientific, yet lovable.
  • The Phoebe's.
  • Such creative forces.
  • The Chandler's.
  • Oh, just the funniest.
  • The Joey's.
  • - How you doin'?
  • (laughter)
  • - Loyal and charming.
  • And of course, the Rachel's.
  • Natural born leaders, with a flare for fashion.
  • They were all so different,
  • but they somehow all worked so well together,
  • despite their differences,
  • because they were friends.
  • (synchronized clapping)
  • Today is a very special day,
  • when our bright, young people are given their futures.
  • So, let us begin, shall we?
  • Gunther's, please prepare the quiz.
  • - Anything for you, the Rachel.
  • Okay, you know what?
  • That's gross.
  • Please, just do your job.
  • (typing on computer)
  • (suspenseful music)
  • (laughter)
  • - Alex Andrews.
  • (suspenseful music)
  • (clicking computer mouse)
  • (applause)
  • - Knew it!
  • Come here, buddy.
  • Here's your bowler shirt.
  • - [Rachel] Winston Banks.
  • (suspenseful music)
  • (clicking computer mouse)
  • (applause)
  • - How you doin'?
  • - Yeah, welcome brother!
  • - Sarah Brand.
  • (suspenseful music)
  • (clicking computer mouse)
  • - Carrie?
  • - Who's Carrie?
  • - I have no idea what--
  • - Friends!
  • Friends!
  • Let's just take a brief adjournment
  • while the leader of the six houses
  • discuss this minor technical hiccup, shall we?
  • Miss Brand, go with me.
  • - Oh, okay.
  • (suspenseful music)
  • - We are on a break!
  • (audience murmur)
  • - So can I still go, or what?
  • I just like taking tests.
  • - [Audience] You're such a Ross!
  • - There must be a glitch in the system!
  • The system is fool-proof.
  • The Ross's have gone over the quiz time and time.
  • - What if she picked a set of answers
  • that no one's ever picked before?
  • - Okay.
  • That's about as likely as a Gunther ending up with a Rachel.
  • Am I right?
  • - She could be a Carrie, why not?
  • - A 'Sex and the City' character in the 'Friends' universe?
  • They're two totally different New Yorks!
  • - We had a 'Mad About You' crossover.
  • - This is not 'Mad About You!'
  • Okay, now our entire system of government
  • is predicated on people knowing
  • which one of the friends from 'Friends' they are!
  • Do you guys wanna go back to when times were bad?
  • Huh?
  • When we weren't there for each other?
  • When the rain started to fall.
  • Is that what you want?
  • Because that's what you're,
  • don't touch me!
  • - Yeah, if we let her be a Carrie,
  • we might as well tell everyone about the other quizzes.
  • - There are other quizzes?
  • - Ross and Rachel, just because
  • you guys are each other's lobsters,
  • you think you can walk all over the rest of us.
  • - Yeah, this is supposed to be an ensemble,
  • and if anyone knows that, it's us Joey's!
  • I mean, we just don't work on our own.
  • God knows we tried.
  • - Why don't we just make her a stupid Gunther,
  • and be done with it, okay?
  • (arguing)
  • - Excuse me!
  • There are other quizzes?
  • (suspenseful music)
  • (Ross laughs)
  • - If there were other quizzes,
  • they would be meaningless,
  • not even worth mentioning--
  • (gasps)
  • - Seize her!
  • Hello, Gunther's, I'm talking to you.
  • Seize her!
  • (suspenseful music)
  • (Sarah gasps)
  • - [Gunther] Alright, you two go that way.
  • You, come with me.
  • (door slams)
  • - Come with me if you want to live.
  • - Wait, aren't you the downstairs neighbor
  • who was complaining about all the noise from 'Friends?'
  • - Used to be.
  • Not anymore.
  • Now I'm the Rock.
  • Welcome to the resistance.
  • - The Rock, really?
  • - You wanna see it?
  • - I mean, you know it's just you made
  • a 'Terminator' reference earlier,
  • so I figured you'd be Schwarzenegger or something.
  • - Come with me.
  • There are some people I want you to meet.
  • (whimsical music)
  • (Sarah gasps)
  • - But, you're all,
  • how?
  • - We all took the 'Which Friend from Friends Are You' quiz.
  • First, we lived as everyone else did,
  • with a tiny voice in our head
  • saying something wasn't right.
  • Until we realized our true selves.
  • - I used to be a Ross, it seems so ridiculous now.
  • We don't know how you did it Sarah, but you beat it.
  • You beat the quiz.
  • It's a miracle.
  • - But how do you know you were who you are?
  • - It's a Motorola.
  • - Got mine at Radio Shack.
  • - We're helping the people we can,
  • it's just that there's so few of these quiz machines left.
  • It's a painfully slow process.
  • It's also a pain in the ass.
  • - We've been trying to find a way to do it manually,
  • but we haven't been able to figure anything out.
  • - Does anyone have a notepad and some colored markers?
  • (suspenseful music)
  • - Well it's seems this little Monica's upstart daughter
  • has ideas above her station.
  • Well, there's only one form of punishment
  • fit for this kind of treachery.
  • But, it seems Sarah is hiding away.
  • Well, it seems almost unfair that no one should suffer.
  • Bring out the turkey of shame!
  • - Sarah, save yourself!
  • I'll always be there for you!
  • - Sarah, you have the power to end this!
  • Just bring back the laptop,
  • and everything will go back to normal.
  • (buzzing)
  • - Citizens of New York, California,
  • our leaders have been keeping something from us.
  • Something we all deserve to know.
  • There are more quizzes!
  • (suspenseful music)
  • - Don't listen to her!
  • She's, she's stuck in second gear.
  • - On my mark, get ready to drop your truth bombs.
  • Mark!
  • (suspenseful music)
  • - [Rachel] What is it?
  • What are those?
  • (suspenseful music)
  • - It's the other quizzes.
  • - Don't look at those!
  • Don't look at these!
  • No, don't look at those!
  • (suspenseful music)
  • - Oh my God, I'm a Frasier!
  • I'm a Frasier!
  • - I'm a Posh Spice.
  • I always felt it, but now I know.
  • - Yeah, I'm definitely still a Ross.
  • (suspenseful music)
  • (heavy breathing)
  • - Oh!
  • - Why are you doing this, Sarah?
  • I thought you were my lobster.
  • - I might be your lobster, but you're not my Mr. Big.
  • - Can I at least be your Peeta?
  • - No, you're my Gale.
  • I love you, but we're just not destined to be together.
  • - Oh, spoiler alert!
  • (suspenseful music)
  • - No, please!
  • Please, I'll give you anything.
  • I'll give you my Central Perk apron.
  • I'll give you my Calvin Klein jeans.
  • I'll give you my hair straighteners.
  • Please, I just don't want to die!
  • - Do I look like I need hair straighteners?
  • (slicing)
  • (gasps)
  • - We are not friends anymore!
  • (cheers)
  • ('Sex and the City' theme music)
  • - And so, as the world as we knew it
  • stood in ashes around us,
  • I asked myself some fundamental questions.
  • If anyone can be anything,
  • does knowing what you are still have worth?
  • Does friendship mean anything if you're forced into it?
  • And, would I look cute as a blonde?
  • ('Sex and the City' theme music)
  • (record scratches)
  • ♪So no one told us life was going be this way
  • ♪Work is a bore, we're poor, the world is in dismay
  • ♪Seems like we're always stuck in second gear
  • ♪When it has not been our day, our week, our month
  • ♪Or even our year
  • ♪Which of the friends are you♪
  • (glass shattering)
  • (ringing)

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In a future where society is divided into groups based on a Buzzfeed quiz… Choose wisely.

Featured in this episode:
Cheri Oteri
Larry Hankin
Irene Choi
Michael Naughton
Zac Oyama

Partner Rating - TV 14

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