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Video Breaking Up
09:05   |   views   |   12/15/2018


  • heya guys want to treat yourself this
  • holiday season with some online safety
  • use the code da mix at Nord VPN comm /
  • da mix for 75% off a three year plan and
  • for a limited time also get an extra
  • month for free who you is it just me or
  • has it been breakup season lately you
  • there never really seems to be a good
  • time to break up you're probably in the
  • middle of deciding on when to break
  • things off right now but something's
  • delaying it whether it's a concert
  • YouTube planned on going to for a while
  • but it would be too much trouble today
  • we saw the tickets or you're being
  • considerate and waiting until exams are
  • over so it won't affect their studies
  • but the reality is there's never a good
  • time it's not some 9 a.m. appointment
  • you can schedule next month you do it
  • soon or you do it later and the longer
  • you wait the harder it gets to do it I
  • consider one of the poorest ways of
  • breaking up is acting like an asshole so
  • you forced them to break up with you
  • instead because you're too much of a
  • coward to get your hands a little dirty
  • you manipulate the situation so that you
  • become the dumpee instead you become the
  • victim making them the villain what this
  • does is it allows you to gain the
  • sympathy of others who don't fully know
  • the story from both perspectives or true
  • reasoning of the break-up and that
  • sympathy helps you justify this ugly
  • method of ending a relationship this is
  • how grudges are born man so how do you
  • do it how do you just tell someone yeah
  • you know what Cindy I don't think I want
  • to do this anymore I mean you could
  • best-case scenario is they mutually
  • agree with you and it's a clean
  • transaction you both admit you don't see
  • things eye-to-eye
  • you don't have the same sense of humor
  • her father's racist or you're just
  • staying together for the sake of being
  • in a relationship and not because you're
  • actually in love with each other but
  • let's say you two aren't on the same
  • page it's way more difficult to convince
  • the other party to comply with your
  • decision while my past video you should
  • probably break up focused on the red
  • flags in a relationship I want to talk
  • more about the inevitability of some
  • relationships ending these are the
  • couples whose red flags they chose to
  • ignore in the
  • beginning or partners who've just
  • matured separately and have become
  • different people proving to be
  • incompatible with each other things
  • aren't always in our control and that
  • holds true for people's mindsets when
  • being in a relationship most people
  • don't really plan ahead when starting
  • their commitment to a person they don't
  • usually decide right away that yes this
  • person right here will be my fully
  • committed partner for all eternity
  • including future incarnations no you
  • kind of just date people to discover
  • what kind of people you're compatible
  • with and when you find out you're not
  • what's the solution you break up a lot
  • of people who have fallen out of love
  • and remain in their relationships choose
  • to stay because to put it simply it's
  • comfy there isn't really a catalyst for
  • a breakup no one cheated on anyone it's
  • just been a slow burn over the years
  • about little things that add it up but
  • you've invested all this time into each
  • other's lives that it's just too much
  • trouble to cut ties and deal with the
  • aftermath you live with each other so
  • how do you decide who moves out who
  • keeps the dog your friends and family
  • have known you two to be inseparable so
  • it seems beyond impossible to imagine
  • you two breaking up it's just so much
  • pressure it seems like a lot of work but
  • know that it's even more work to
  • maintain a disingenuous relationship
  • best case scenario you can stay friends
  • you just got to convince the next person
  • you're dating that you're still living
  • with your ex and they have nothing to
  • worry about if you're gonna break things
  • off with someone do their next partner a
  • favor by doing your ex a favor and be
  • clear about the reasons why you're
  • breaking up with them just because
  • you're done with them doesn't mean the
  • world is all relationships are learning
  • experiences and it's so common for exes
  • to emotionally scar each other so deeply
  • that they're incapable of opening their
  • doors to anyone new sometimes it can be
  • really difficult to have a blank slate
  • with new relationships I get it and old
  • habits tend to carry over from the
  • previous but if we're supposed to learn
  • from our mistakes then we deserve to
  • know what they are even if we don't
  • initially agree with them you guys
  • remember my fourth breakup story about
  • how we ended really abruptly when I was
  • convinced that everything was good and
  • dandy
  • but they weren't the breakup came out of
  • nowhere there was no discussion about it
  • her decision was made and I had no
  • choice but to respect it and so my
  • self-esteem plummeted I tried to appear
  • okay on the outside but I was really
  • broken inside
  • I had this looming cloud of sadness for
  • my whole final year of University
  • it was so distracting that I almost hope
  • that she just admitted to cheating on me
  • because I was convinced that it's much
  • easier to move on from someone when you
  • hate them but I didn't get an
  • explanation I was left wondering and
  • didn't get closure so I didn't know how
  • to feel towards her and how to move on
  • kind of like if you're watching a movie
  • and just cut it Midway you really don't
  • know how to feel about the movie because
  • you didn't get the conclusion and you're
  • left with unanswered questions was it a
  • good movie I don't know was it a good
  • relationship I don't know
  • better late than never Karen or whatever
  • name I gave her in the story actually
  • contacted me years later years after I
  • made the video it obviously caught me
  • off guard but I tried to handle the
  • conversation maturely she apologized for
  • what she put me through and admitted
  • that the break-up was handled very
  • poorly she was young and didn't know
  • what to do at the time we talked for a
  • bit and I finally got my explanation I
  • got my closure I really didn't care too
  • much about the details of the
  • explanation I already spent years after
  • the breakup theorizing what it could be
  • that it wasn't all that surprising I
  • just really respected her maturity and
  • approaching me about her situation
  • something that was way in the past and
  • kind of unnecessary for her to do
  • because of the time that's passed I
  • wanted to hear it directly from her
  • instead of from my thoughts and I
  • greatly appreciate that she did know
  • we're not friends again she made it
  • clear that the purpose of the
  • conversation was simply to give me the
  • explanation that I deserved it wasn't a
  • rekindling of a friendship and weirdly
  • enough I was okay with it not at first
  • but it made sense to me afterwards we
  • became strangers again and it wasn't sad
  • the common problem with most failed
  • relationships is that both parties
  • usually have no idea what they're
  • getting themselves into they have a
  • raging amount of passion going into it
  • and they expect the relationship to
  • match their fan
  • sieze and they handle it poorly when it
  • doesn't
  • the majority of us aren't lucky enough
  • to find our soulmate right away on the
  • first try the majority of us have exes
  • some more than others
  • and the fact that exes exist means that
  • most relationships fail oh man that's a
  • sad fact and a lot of us have definitely
  • not been properly equipped to maturely
  • handle breakups when we were young I'm
  • not saying to be ready for a breakup
  • when getting into a relationship that's
  • uh that's kind of messed up it's kind of
  • pessimistic just try to develop the
  • empathy and a level head for dealing
  • with problems when they arise it's real
  • easy to make decisions fueled by emotion
  • and it's very often that they lead to
  • undesired outcomes I like to think that
  • if you use emotions as fuel it's kind of
  • like driving a car that you can't steer
  • ha ha ha oh good luck with that
  • no one likes going through a breakup but
  • it's something we all got to learn how
  • to deal with thank you for listening to
  • my PSA I'm sorry if your partner breaks
  • up with you later tonight
  • a big thanks to Nord VPN for being a
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  • up real good but Nord Nords got your
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  • you can never be too safe when
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  • [Music]

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