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Video Types of People in the Shower
07:44   |   today at 00:24


  • - Really there are only two types
  • of people in the shower, all right?
  • Those who pee and those who lie about it.
  • (horse whinnies) (magical twinkling)
  • What up everyone?
  • It's your girl, Superwoman,
  • and I am literally obsessed with taking showers.
  • Yeah, I take one like, every week.
  • And I've discovered that showers
  • are a really interesting place, you know.
  • Why?
  • M-C-A.
  • Because showers can reveal
  • a lot about a person's personality.
  • Here's the breakdown.
  • Number one, the showstopper.
  • Now obviously some people sing in the shower,
  • that's not new information.
  • ♫ And I will always love you
  • But you see me, see I don't just sing in the shower, okay?
  • I turn into a full-fledged performer
  • and I'm not just talking singing.
  • No, I've done all types of entertainment, okay?
  • I'm in the shower reenacting my favorite movie clips.
  • (dramatic music)
  • This is Sparta!
  • Imitating my favorite music videos.
  • ♫ One, two, three, one, two, three
  • And most importantly, pretending the wall is my lover
  • and staring deeply into it's eyes as I sing to it.
  • Real talk, I actually do that.
  • Is that gross, is that weird?
  • It's clean, right?
  • Right, right?
  • You see, because outside the shower
  • I may be a talent-less psychology graduate
  • that wears only high waisted jeans and granny panties
  • but inside the shower, oo,
  • I'm like Beyonce and Leonardo DiCaprio's love child.
  • Oh I am a performer.
  • No, I swear to God.
  • If casting directors took showers with me,
  • I would get all the roles
  • because they would see how good I am.
  • Oh, okay, I guess that could go both ways
  • but okay if it was sexual,
  • obviously I wouldn't get the role because these rolls.
  • In conclusion, I'm way more talented in the shower.
  • (sobbing quietly)
  • (groans)
  • Leave me alone!
  • And scene.
  • Number two, the mental breakdowners.
  • Does this look familiar?
  • No, honestly, girl, I'm in a really good place.
  • Yeah, I love my life.
  • My day was great, I had an awesome day at work,
  • everything's phenomenal but I'm gonna take a shower.
  • I'll call you back, okay?
  • I love you, bye!
  • (wailing)
  • Yeah, raise your hand if you've ever done that.
  • (bell dinging)
  • Now these are the people who take showers
  • to escape reality, okay?
  • Escape their crappy days.
  • They're just standing in the shower, numb,
  • letting the water hit their face
  • and they usually think things like this.
  • I think my life sucks.
  • I hate my job.
  • This day is trash.
  • I'm pretty sure all of my friends are stupid.
  • This rash is getting worse.
  • Straight up, I've cried in the shower.
  • Why?
  • M-C-A.
  • Obviously because people in the movies do it
  • and therefore I can see how dramatic
  • and emotional it looks, okay?
  • If I'mma cry, I'mma Oscar worthy cry, okay?
  • I ain't about no sub-par crying.
  • I have standards, I'm not an animal or,
  • is that a peanut?
  • Number three, the ocean killers.
  • Let's be real, everyone messes around in the shower
  • but some people take it next level
  • and they're in there for like two hours.
  • Have you ever experienced someone who takes so long
  • in the shower that there's that slight moment
  • where you think there's a chance they might have died.
  • (laughs)
  • You know what I'm, let's be honest,
  • you know those people when they take so long
  • and you're just like, okay they're probably fine but still,
  • that image flashes in your mind at least once
  • where you're like, oh okay, they're probably dead.
  • They're probably lying there like a raisin,
  • you know, that scene from the Psycho
  • and I can see their dead body.
  • (stuttering) Am I deranged?
  • Because what the F other logical explanation
  • is there for taking two hours in the shower?
  • Not to mention you're wasting water, okay?
  • The ocean is dying,
  • the environment is out here struggling, fam.
  • You're using so much water,
  • The Little Mermaid's out here with dry lips, okay?
  • Just like (wheezing)
  • ♫ Under the sea, under the sea
  • Hurry the F up, okay?
  • Before I flush the toilet three times
  • and turn you into the star of the next Frozen movie.
  • Number four, the wet wasteman.
  • Now it takes a special type of person to take a place
  • that's designated for cleanliness,
  • that literally has hygienic products in it
  • and turn it into a disgusting mess.
  • Like literally, the shower is a place with soap
  • and shampoo and clean water,
  • but you somehow turn it into a dumpster.
  • Shampoo bottles knocked over everywhere, left open.
  • Somehow the soap bar's in two pieces and on the floor
  • waiting for me to slip and die on it.
  • (loud clunk)
  • And not only is this mess reserved for inside the shower,
  • no no, it gets much worse as you exit the shower, okay?
  • You know why?
  • Because towels are optional.
  • Yeah, why use a towel when you can just dry yourself
  • while doing the effin' Harlem Shake.
  • Like, what's going on?
  • You ever enter the washroom
  • after someone's done taking a shower
  • and you step on the mat and water just oozes out
  • and you're like, how did this even happen?
  • How did this much water exit the shower?
  • Are your butt cheeks made with sponges?
  • Now washroom floor is a sea.
  • Now if I gotta take a dump, I gotta call up Moses
  • so he can make a path for me to get to the toilet.
  • And quite possibly the most annoying thing about
  • this person is, okay, you know that little button
  • you've gotta hit so that the water stops coming from
  • the shower head and instead comes from the faucet?
  • They don't give a F about that button.
  • That button's never been touched before.
  • So then I enter the shower, and this little faucet,
  • (imitates spraying water)
  • and water comes blasting on my head.
  • You are a menace to society.
  • You see this hair?
  • That little bit of sprinkle,
  • you know that's gonna take 10 days to dry, God dammit.
  • Number five, the shedder.
  • Shed, shedder, shedder, is that a real word, shedder?
  • Shed?
  • And this type of person is so annoying,
  • I had to give them their own category
  • and I know what you're thinking,
  • I know what you're thinking,
  • you're thinking, how can you get annoyed
  • of people who leave hair in the shower
  • when you look like effin' Samara from The Ring?
  • Well the thing is, if my hair sheds in the shower,
  • I rinse that ish and put it down the drain,
  • I don't leave it there for display.
  • I can't even explain to you how gross
  • I feel when I see wet hair in the shower
  • just left there and here's the thing,
  • most people, they don't get it,
  • they're like, what's the problem?
  • If the shower looks like a chia pet, there's a problem.
  • If I step into the shower and I get carpet burn,
  • okay there's a problem.
  • If my shower is dirty and I need to call
  • a hairstylist to clean it, okay there's a problem.
  • If my shower could be considered
  • for the role of Chewbacca, okay there's a problem.
  • If my shower has a bushier beard than Humble The Poet,
  • there's a problem.
  • If the shower can donate more hair
  • to charity than I can, there's a problem.
  • And hear me when I say that if I pick up a bar of soap,
  • and there is a pube attached to it,
  • there's a problem and no,
  • no don't say that thing where you're like no,
  • it's just a short hair from my head, I swear.
  • No, no one uses soap on their head, okay?
  • It's a pube and Houston, we have a problem.
  • Not to mention that hairs that are stuck to the wall
  • of the shower, you know what I'm talking about, they're wet,
  • so they're like all there and they're in this
  • weird design where they're just like,
  • (laughs) this is me imitating the hair on the shower wall.
  • Like, I hate it all, contain that ish!
  • In conclusion, subscribe.
  • Hi!
  • If you liked that video, there's another one you can watch
  • that's probably gonna make you laugh.
  • Also, it's right over there.
  • My second vlog channel as I daily vlog, right over there.
  • Smash that thumbs up and subscribe
  • because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday.
  • One love, Superwoman.
  • That is a wrap and zoop.

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Lets be real, most people are freaks in the shower. Not me though, I'm just a full fledged performer & I like to make out with the wall. Which type are you?






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