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27:44   |   02/22/2019 at 22:28


  • yeah it was called the fag all through
  • my whole life yeah see I wore normal
  • clothes but people just said I had a fag
  • face it's never French and wieners
  • what do they make me in my time that
  • stagger on this leg
  • we have shane dawson in the building I
  • have never felt uglier this looks like
  • when you like get it online versus when
  • it comes oh it's bad fuck listen and I'm
  • like okay who has glammed you and no one
  • [Laughter]
  • [Laughter]
  • come on honey boo boo take a sip oh we
  • got that angle like woah with looking at
  • you the whole time like this without
  • blinking it was really painful but
  • really worth it look up in my mouth whoa
  • that's crazy you'll have a doll
  • you're like a robot it's crazy it was
  • really expensive it was one of the first
  • things I bought and she started making
  • coin but it was
  • oh wait that's another question okay I
  • keep calling you she ya accident I think
  • Andrew was like wait it's Jeffery or
  • what's happening
  • I'm just Jeffrey so if you look at me
  • and you're like damn honey yeah it's
  • like she everyone calls me he/she
  • whatever this was that song yeah I'm an
  • alien
  • every pronoun is okay every program oh
  • great oh oh it's great little running
  • shoes here's a bigger foot than me in a
  • bigger dick so we're not doing that this
  • is mac fix+ so if you're feeling like
  • really hot just pulling your trigger
  • though I have one yeah my triggers my
  • stat arms I love it all so that could be
  • my dad we look very quickly and I could
  • be my father as well he is an
  • attention-seeking little hole he said
  • little though he's like small not that
  • arms petite subtle go home is it comes
  • to all the comparison this is $120 right
  • is there a noxious looking motherfucker
  • that's will you at me that's not fair I
  • could go on this leap you you are a lot
  • of a fucking stroke
  • you can't say that it was probably my
  • mom like eating a burger I just realize
  • you're parking a $400,000 car walmart
  • yeah we'll have a good title should we
  • park in the neighborhood in uber end
  • when I was really young I would look at
  • like the underwear ads and like JC
  • Penney and jackoff I found out I was gay
  • cuz I got turned on by those yes okay
  • and I would look at my brothers let's
  • get shoes okay great but now they're in
  • a relationship but you know things
  • change
  • I'm not my early 20s anymore swallowing
  • up the neighborhood I've never seen your
  • penis I'm like okay obviously clearly
  • yes so this thing a very small portion
  • our machine the newest ones that we are
  • obsessed with playing in the moment okay
  • it's supposed to be kind of ugly right
  • like yeah how much Gucci stuff do you
  • think you have in what contacts
  • something in your hair I really have a
  • wadded up tissue because I sweat so much
  • that I didn't okay we're gonna what kind
  • of skin do you think you have normally I
  • fucking gross you crazy fucking dry like
  • sometimes like my boyfriend will pick
  • off something and he'll rip it off and
  • it looks like a ruffle chip would you
  • eat it why she's so big fucking monster
  • claws are out now got a picture shane
  • dawson on the net lady gaga just behind
  • his shoulder right because obviously all
  • the attention has to be on Shane
  • motherfucking doesn't care about anybody
  • he only cares about himself I love that
  • he thinks I care about thank you what's
  • your pronoun um I feel like we should
  • use maybe one of the world's most
  • expensive primers on you can I guess
  • like everything you use on me cannot yes
  • so much it is or we have an option of
  • one with gold flakes in it real gold
  • good what you're wearing right now can I
  • guess how much this was calculating okay
  • okay so we got the belt bag the shoes
  • the sweater
  • bunny leggings what do you keep in a bag
  • like that cuz like what do you need that
  • for in here we have like my inhaler
  • my favorite lipstick my black card and
  • PE but okay guys the jeffree star
  • I should've pilot sucks but she's
  • wearing seven of the colors on her eyes
  • it is so unbundle I'm wearing it right
  • now aim to feel like you're about to go
  • on drag race as the pretty girl with all
  • the attitude she goes home first I need
  • to be the weird underdog okay it was
  • annoying Aaron we're gonna blend Shane
  • to Phil use your balls how do you feel
  • about things around your eyes I love it
  • shove a stick in my eye
  • okay good all right for years I've been
  • using toilet seat covers it's a hack
  • Ryland Shane no no I'm like a like a
  • BuzzFeed
  • [Music]
  • sweat lily so I haven't touched up once
  • today actually we love a long wearing
  • foundation really I've been dying to
  • contour you and give you that just
  • chiseled hooker type of babes me so
  • we're gonna go in with the benefit sheet
  • parade I'm obsessed with how the smells
  • who's the guy whose best friends are Kim
  • Kardashian Oh Jonathan yes we're gonna
  • give you Jonathan cheekbones right yeah
  • so have you ever been doing somebody's
  • makeup and you were just like ooh fuck
  • there's no hope mm-hmm and you don't
  • know what to do yeah okay why are you
  • sweating right now
  • [Music]
  • the sweatshirt was $1,800 something I'm
  • going to ruin with my body
  • is there more oh my god oh wait a minute
  • all right these were literally like what
  • I'm wearing these are like the glowing
  • up version up my shape-ups except these
  • are your trash I'm bored
  • [Laughter]
  • the only thing that's missing is I
  • always carry around an iconic
  • limited-edition handbag like very
  • limited only main three so I think you
  • need to carry one of those today okay I
  • want to carry one of those today
  • perfect perfect
  • whoa and fresh off the red wine Gucci
  • bamboo jagwire crocodile baby weight how
  • much was this are you ready for the
  • office you don't look presentable
  • how dare you embarrass me in front of my
  • friends you want to be honest yes all
  • that is a lot of my enemies oh that's
  • pretty good it gives me all my vitamins
  • since no one a lot we just got back from
  • Europe two days ago so I got like
  • nothing in here so I'm I'm a little
  • embarrassed Wow I like it because it's
  • very open so God gets to talk to me
  • personally and just let me know and I
  • paint are still white trash yeah
  • yeah yeah oh my gosh does the same thing
  • to me that's so crazy
  • Wow that's how I knew it was real yeah
  • do people think you're a vampire is it
  • like a chaos okay we'll have an age
  • since my space so people are trying to
  • figure out why I imagine and we'll get
  • to your bedroom soon but I imagine you
  • have like a tube or like something that
  • you lay in and like and then to wake you
  • up that they put like a and then you're
  • like all new again um kind of like that
  • we actually have a big coffin in my
  • bedroom what you'll see in a minute this
  • is that moment great doing this hi I
  • like these days I've been using toilet
  • seat covers it's a half Ryland machine
  • you know I'm like a like a BuzzFeed
  • now are we gonna be banned forever what
  • if I can never go back thank God
  • [Music]
  • I was just kidding proof
  • and water because I'm healthy oh there
  • we go hit this and offer them quote I
  • have a little incentive this will work
  • you don't want to let us film you know
  • we could change your tune girl I have
  • some sweat - can I try - why did you
  • think this much was necessary though
  • like a hundred dollars would make
  • anyone's day I mean maybe we were gonna
  • go buy weed earlier so Jeffrey needed
  • gas and he's never pumped gas before
  • so I love that I got really frazzled
  • it's so hot so he's learning
  • [Music]
  • all days at working at the mat counter
  • someone would come in and here's that
  • girl okay what is that like a coconut
  • beachy bronzer yeah vagina does it yeah
  • a nice clean summery one debatable
  • so you've eaten a pussy before was this
  • back with your old teeth yes I caused a
  • lot of injuries you shady fucker
  • yeah those razors that I had spod down
  • uh-huh blends this much I had to use
  • three different brushes and get carpal
  • tunnel syndrome presentable I kind of
  • want her to be the next spokesperson for
  • my brand she keeps it real like you wake
  • up in your frozen tube and you step
  • outside it takes about 45 minutes a day
  • to adjust to the real world you're
  • getting from yeah yeah it's like a
  • cartoon like dr. Seuss chair I get it no
  • weird every every scare has a story yeah
  • garbage how much more those these ion
  • okay can't be honest yeah I don't know I
  • don't look all sarcasm aside I don't
  • know
  • [Music]
  • because I can just a little bit going to
  • [Music]
  • [Music]
  • [Music]
  • hey let's do this sister
  • [Music]
  • [Laughter]
  • [Music]
  • mommy's home
  • delicious you not recognize mommy they
  • think mommy had an accident hey like how
  • would you start okay so I always do a
  • good morning okay hi good morning
  • everybody good morning everybody
  • so it's gonna be like good morning
  • everybody
  • hi how are you girl I'm fucking tired
  • hey you try okay all right here we go I
  • got this hi good morning welcome back to
  • my snapchat hi how are you I know you're
  • waiting for your morning tea but guess
  • what I don't have to meet you for you
  • I'm done sipped a Tulsa's except I guess
  • I'd you have a drought there's this
  • fucking piece of shit on YouTube that
  • likes to talk about me but I haven't
  • even listened except what do people get
  • mad every time I talk about even a
  • scenario or like giving life advice
  • about something they make it about like
  • next friends which I'm literally not
  • even referencing not even about anyone
  • it's just life you know okay a little
  • daily inspiration hello good morning I
  • know you're all wondering Wow how do you
  • do it what is it like and what I would
  • tell you is you'll never know oh she's
  • going back for more just kidding
  • you might know one day but most of you
  • want especially all the people on
  • YouTube who do make
  • that's not about anybody I think but
  • seriously if you aren't gonna wear these
  • clothes I'll take them cuz I will
  • probably fit in them but it's fine
  • this sure I want it I really want this
  • I'm not gay but this can be a cute shirt
  • to sleep in Nate wears it once it smells
  • like him I wear it when he's not here
  • yeah what kind of car do you have
  • what's your cheapest car do you have
  • anything like humble in the car let's
  • just take the rolls-royce okay is that
  • like a cheaper lair like how much is the
  • most expensive car you say I'm really
  • grateful that you got me a pink
  • background to match my pig aesthetic
  • fully and you know really helping me
  • embrace my pig side I hate how I look
  • right now sorry I just saw myself in a
  • monitor the monitor oh look at my
  • highlight though it's so pretty
  • Oh okay be honest yes Shane Dawson in
  • the building I have never felt uglier
  • this looks like when you like get it
  • online versus when it comes oh it's bad
  • Felicity reans of that series okay okay
  • so in the series I had to be rich for a
  • day yeah it was exhausting dude there's
  • a lot more to it yeah that's a part of
  • it uh-huh his girl she's looking so sad
  • the rocket has landed me in Manny's
  • little a blinding moment really a girl
  • went crazy and her car went foo and then
  • flipped and you just said we went to the
  • side and I almost got hit oh you didn't
  • stop and check on her she's spotted that
  • looks like I just bit into a greasy
  • Crunchwrap yeah oh he's taking a lot to
  • his face throughout the years my face
  • can take a beating it can kind of look
  • her the cheapest things down here
  • later they $10,000 Oh
  • thousand dollars that's my I wasn't sure
  • if you on the Stairmaster I'll never be
  • on the Stairmaster than me she's at her
  • house right now I don't want to be
  • chewing hey I found plans for us later
  • [Laughter]
  • we can open the curtains a little bit
  • just like we're feelings or emotions or
  • you never know I mean anything we're
  • just very like what do you do what do
  • you do and what do you do who does one
  • expend um I'm gonna say this one's
  • probably more expensive because when
  • people get like too fancy and too
  • glittery and shit it's fake this is
  • probably cheaper I feel like this was
  • probably like 80 bucks okay what about
  • the gold 175 that's it yeah you got
  • three now this guy is it comes to all
  • the comparison this is $120 right okay
  • it's not what I expected
  • we don't even know if I could sew line
  • because people are hating it
  • she's like I gotta give this shit I
  • gotta give this shit away
  • everyone has asked me the same question
  • are you gonna kill somebody
  • oh wait that's confusing okay are you
  • sure I can sit in here and there's stars
  • why it's yeah it's fiber optics come in
  • it looks cooler when it's dark out don't
  • touch your door I got it why you want my
  • port a robot oh my god hide your asset
  • world
  • my mom's minivan does that to me feel
  • like today something easy and breezy
  • mm-hmm
  • okay like just like go to Target get
  • stared at I'm gonna go right in with
  • this orange what's the name of her we
  • gotta flip this damn go dust horizon hot
  • cheeto does we're using hot cheeto dust
  • as the crease color we're using puffy
  • Cheetos okay eyes and then we're gonna
  • do hot flaming Cheetos increase I'm
  • still scared well its final Year's Day
  • and that's promise resolution you can
  • stick to Happy New Year's I'm like I
  • wanted to skull fuck me that's called to
  • be the world's most expensive foundation
  • this is $200 oh my god yep I did a
  • review on this and people were like what
  • the fuck is this shit and it's really
  • good so okay well we should think of
  • like a charity or something to do like
  • to tie it in be like oh we're gonna do
  • whatever but then you were saying
  • earlier are you okay with me saying this
  • yeah go ahead I don't know Sam well
  • today you were just at the LGBT Center
  • yeah are you donating how much 125,000
  • which is crazy yes
  • but times money Aros happy for put
  • makeup on your penis like to be funny
  • um i contour my shaft a lot if i did
  • that it would disappear
  • oh wait wait what do you cross work when
  • it's flopping or when it's hard when
  • it's hard and then when it's so then
  • when it goes back down it just looks
  • really like so like we'll see you back
  • when I go okay with God it's literally
  • like I'm inside of a little toy car yeah
  • holy shit holy shit
  • wait so okay how much actually
  • [Music]
  • so I'm driving okay
  • [Music]
  • we hurry up please I'm trying to go
  • somewhere you've never shown this
  • warehouse kinda pointed is it crazy so
  • we're gonna go at a time when all the
  • employees have gone for the day okay so
  • you're not gonna see the full crazy
  • commotion of it all there's a lot of my
  • do is maybe take a little journey to the
  • past like normal no I'm like normal what
  • to me means snowmaker and then you're
  • gonna come to my house okay and then
  • we're gonna have a journey can't wait
  • okay then it's gonna be a lot my house
  • is disgusting so on a real level no so I
  • worked at the mall I did a lot of other
  • things which we'll talk about in Shane
  • series that are very dark and depressing
  • I feel like we should use maybe one of
  • the world's most expensive primers on
  • you can I guess like everything you use
  • on me cannot yes it is or we have an
  • option of one with gold flakes in it
  • real gold
  • go home is it comes to all the
  • comparison this is $120 right what
  • you're wearing right now can I guess how
  • much this was calculating okay so we got
  • the belt bag the shoes the sweater the
  • leggings what
  • in a bag like that cuz like what do you
  • need that for in here we have like my
  • inhaler my favorite lipstick my black
  • card and PD but for years I've been
  • using toilet seat covers it's a half
  • Ryland Shane
  • you know I'm like a like a BuzzFeed I
  • haven't touched up once today actually
  • we love a long wearing foundation
  • [Music]
  • [Applause]
  • [Music]

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