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Video Key & Peele - Substitute Teacher

TheTV.info
03:01   |   147M+ views   |   today at 09:36

Transcription

  • [bell rings]
  • - ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, Y'ALL.
  • I'M Y'ALL'S SUBSTITUTE TEACHER, MR. GARVEY.
  • I TAUGHT SCHOOL FOR 20 YEARS IN THE INNER CITY,
  • SO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT MESSING WITH ME.
  • Y'ALL FEEL ME? - MM-HMM.
  • - OKAY. LET'S TAKE ROLL HERE.
  • JAY QUELLIN.
  • WHERE'S JAY QUELLIN AT?
  • NO JAY QUELLIN HERE?
  • - [clears throat] - YEAH.
  • - UH, DO YOU MEAN JACQUELINE?
  • - OKAY. SO THAT'S HOW IT'S GONNA BE.
  • Y'ALL WANNA PLAY.
  • OKAY, THEN.
  • I GOT MY EYE ON YOU, JAY QUELLIN.
  • BALAKAY.
  • WHERE IS BALAKAY AT?
  • THERE'S NO BALAKAY HERE TODAY?
  • YES, SIR.
  • - MY NAME IS BLAKE. - BL...
  • ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND?
  • [mocking voice] BLAKE. WHAT?
  • DO YOU WANNA GO TO WAR, BALAKEY? - NO.
  • - 'CAUSE WE COULD GO TO WAR. - NO.
  • - I'M FOR REAL. I'M FOR REAL.
  • SO YOU BETTER CHECK YOURSELF.
  • DEE-NICE.
  • IS THERE A DEE-NICE?
  • IF ONE OF Y'ALL SAYS SOME SILLY-ASS NAME...
  • THIS WHOLE CLASS IS GONNA FEEL MY WRATH.
  • NOW, DEE-NICE. - DO YOU MEAN DENISE?
  • - SON OF A BITCH!
  • YOU SAY YOUR NAME RIGHT, RIGHT NOW.
  • - DENISE? - YOU SAY IT RIGHT.
  • - DENISE. - CORRECTLY.
  • - DENISE. - RIGHT.
  • - DENISE. - RIGHT.
  • - DEE-NICE. - THAT'S BETTER.
  • - [sighs] - THANK YOU.
  • NOW, AY-AY-RON.
  • WHERE ARE YOU?
  • WHERE IS AY-AY-RON RIGHT NOW?
  • NO AY-AY RON, HUH?
  • WELL, YOU BETTER BE SICK, DEAD, OR MUTE, AY-AY-RON!
  • - HERE. OH, MAN.
  • - WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER ME THE FIRST TIME I SAID IT, HUH?
  • - HUH? - YOU KNOW, I'M JUST ASKING YOU.
  • I SAID IT, LIKE, FOUR TIMES.
  • SO WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY IT THE FIRST TIME I SAID, "AY-AY-RON?"
  • - BECAUSE IT'S PRONOUNCED "AARON."
  • - SON OF A BITCH! [clattering]
  • YOU DONE MESSED UP, AY-AY RON, NOW TAKE YOUR ASS ON DOWN
  • TO OH-SHAG-HENNESY'S OFFICE RIGHT NOW AND TELL HIM
  • EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID!
  • - WHO? - OH-SHAG-HENNESY!
  • - PRINCIPAL O'SHAUGHNESSY?
  • - GET OUT OF MY GODDAMN CLASSROOM BEFORE I BREAK
  • MY FOOT OFF IN YOUR ASS!
  • INSUBORDINATE...
  • AND CHURLISH.
  • TYM-OH-THEE.
  • - PRESENT. - THANK YOU!

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Description

While taking attendance, inner-city substitute teacher Mr. Garvey has trouble adjusting to a classroom full of middle-class white students.

Keywords

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