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Video Key & Peele - Retired Military Specialist

TheTV.info
04:18   |   views   |   10/17/2012

Transcription

  • [hinges creaking]
  • - I WAS WONDERING WHEN I WOULD COME IN HERE TO FIND YOU
  • SITTING IN THAT CHAIR.
  • - IT WASN'T EASY TRACKING YOU DOWN, DECKER.
  • - WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE.
  • - I KNOW YOU'VE RETIRED, BUT--
  • - THAT'S ALL BEHIND ME NOW, GENERAL.
  • I'M NOT THE MAN YOU KNEW DURING THE COLD WAR.
  • - I UNDERSTAND.
  • WE'RE NOW FACING A THREAT UNLIKE ANY WE'VE EVER FACED BEFORE.
  • A MAN WITH YOUR EXPERTISE-- - I MADE A VOW.
  • NEVER TO KILL ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.
  • SORRY, GENERAL, GONNA HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE.
  • - OH...
  • NO, WE WEREN'T THINKING YOU'D DO IT.
  • WE WERE--[clears throat] JUST HOPING YOU COULD
  • RECOMMEND SOMEONE FOR THE JOB.
  • - I GUESS I COULD COME OUT OF RETIREMENT.
  • - NO. NO NEED. JUST A RECOMMENDATION WILL DO.
  • - ALL RIGHT. I'LL DO IT.
  • - YOU KNOW, YOU'RE JUST NOT WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR.
  • - YOU SLY SON OF A BITCH.
  • YOU ALWAYS KNEW HOW TO PUSH MY BUTTONS.
  • I'M IN.
  • - NOT YOU, DECKER.
  • - I'M SHARP AS I EVER WAS. - [sighs]
  • - EVEN FASTER TOO. GRAB MY HAND.
  • NOPE. WAIT TILL I COUNT TO THREE FIRST.
  • - REALLY?
  • - ONE.
  • TWO.
  • THREE.
  • OKAY.
  • I WANT YOU TO TRY AND SLAP ME IN THE FACE.
  • UNH! WASN'T READY FOR THAT.
  • TRY AGAIN.
  • UNH! OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
  • - NOW WHAT? - DIDN'T HAVE MY ADRENALINE UP.
  • 'CAUSE THIS IS NOT AN ACTUAL HIGH-STAKES SITUATION.
  • ALL RIGHT.
  • DRAW YOUR WEAPON.
  • AND...DISARMED. [gun hammer clicks]
  • YOU'RE GETTING PRETTY QUICK AND DISARMED--OKAY.
  • I DON'T NEED TO TAKE YOUR WEAPON.
  • YOU KNOW WHAT? SHOOT ME.
  • - I AM NOT GOING TO SHOOT YOU.
  • - WING ME IN THE SHOULDER. - THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
  • - TRY, GENERAL. SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
  • - [sighs]
  • - DEFLECTED--OOOWW!
  • - OKAY. I MADE A MISTAKE COMING HERE.
  • - WING ME IN THE OTHER SHOULDER. - I'D RATHER NOT.
  • - I INSIST.
  • DEFLECTED--AAAHH!
  • THAT WAS BECAUSE MY OTHER ARM WAS ALREADY INJURED.
  • - OKAY. I'M LEAVING. - [grunting] ALL RIGHT.
  • ALL OR NOTHING. GUT SHOT.
  • - NO! - GUT SHOT! COME ON!
  • IF YOU CAN SHOOT ME IN THE GUT, I'LL CONCEDE.
  • - DECKER, YOU HAVE TWO WOUNDED ARMS.
  • - GUT SHOT! GO!
  • - GOT IT. [groans]
  • - YOU--YOU CAUGHT THE BULLET?
  • - OH, YEAH. [groans]
  • - SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THE BULLET
  • IS IN BETWEEN YOUR HANDS RIGHT NOW.
  • - THAT'S WHAT I'M TELLING YOU.
  • - [sighs]
  • [birds chirping]
  • - IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?
  • COME ON.
  • HEAD SHOT.
  • HEAD SHOT. I'M READY.
  • ONE SEC THOUGH. [gunshot]

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Description

A backwoods hunter returns to his cabin to find an old military acquaintance waiting for him with an important request.

Keywords

Key amp Peele Key and Peele Jordan Peele Keegan Michael Key Key amp Peele episodes Key amp Peele full episodes key and peel Retired comedians comedy centr

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