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Video Bill Burr Won't Remember Your Name (ft. Dane Cook) Cellar Crowd

TheTV.info
18:45   |   96K+ views   |   08/19/2018 at 17:35

Transcription

  • I have no heart for anybody who goes
  • with the excuse of I'm trying so hard
  • for you fucking prepare a year in
  • advance sent a wing my career I am doing
  • everything and I came to what you made
  • one phone call people trained with
  • having can imagine very sad to and that
  • you take I can imagine I called the
  • first five years of my there's Alex out
  • there is the fuckers about that's the
  • man right there out of the main kind of
  • column tree face Alex
  • yeah it was also about old men and a
  • tree what look at it look at them about
  • bonus but reminds me of the when you
  • talk about like that whole I'm trying I
  • was sitting on one of my pet peeves is
  • when you're sitting in the in the green
  • room at the at a club and there's no
  • waitress and you sit there's no water
  • there's no food or anything so three
  • times I got to ask to get a waitress to
  • come back and fucking starving it before
  • I do a show so finally this waitress
  • comes walking in and she just goes oh my
  • god I'm like the worst waitress and I go
  • really well can you spend the good one
  • back here yeah what did you call
  • yourself out for sucking exam supposed
  • to accept it funny now it's funny
  • because you said you saw oh my god I'm
  • the worst temper ever is a great
  • combination
  • she read one of those dumb books about
  • you got to own your own stuff so that
  • nobody can take your power a chess board
  • and still busy cause you out on it there
  • you go
  • but you don't you take it to another
  • level of like yeah your boyfriend must
  • hate you just something weird what make
  • a little angry no don't spit in your
  • food you were you worried about that
  • probably at a comedy club well probably
  • make it taste better shit all these are
  • just stupid chicken right about your
  • floss but we're nice ideas okay see ya
  • every fucking dumb case it is a skirt
  • steak
  • fucking whore man steak when you meet
  • somebody and and you go you know oh it's
  • really nice to I meet you and they go
  • we've actually met before I pull that
  • can I have other people this girl yeah
  • it's cool to know we actually meet we
  • met before
  • and I'm just staring at or everybody's
  • kind of looking at that awkward moment
  • I'm like oh yeah you know what's up
  • what's going on you don't remember that
  • you remember I love that one too where
  • it's like hey how you doing you're like
  • hey what's up
  • you don't remember me do you it's like
  • why do you got to put me in that fucking
  • position no I don't you know no i don't
  • i actually don't we made a few people
  • you know i might not remember fucking
  • you know i have cousins don't even know
  • that fucking name right that's like a
  • people in my family at barbecues and
  • they go yeah i'm limit you talked we
  • talked to like a half hour yeah at a
  • party oh really at or they go alright
  • what's my name because sometimes i try
  • to bluff go do you remember me I go yeah
  • hell yeah yeah what's my name
  • alright look I gave you an out to feel
  • good now I'm just going to dye my hair
  • red I have no fucking clue who you are I
  • don't care about nothing they may be a
  • male I'm even bad if I know people
  • sometimes I get like a panic like oh
  • fuck so Alan like you guys yeah I've
  • known these guys like 17 years if I was
  • working with them just as a back-up plan
  • of such a moron I would and if I was
  • homeless show I would write their names
  • on my hand not these guys but you know I
  • mean like guys you know what I mean I
  • would literally have to be writing that
  • that was my big panic as a as a host
  • that I was going to fit and I've had
  • people come up and and I'm like alright
  • someone's coming I know the face I don't
  • know the fucking name so you turn to
  • whoever you with and go alright I'll say
  • hello
  • immediately introduce yourself and I'll
  • be like I'll be like I'm so rude I'm
  • sorry
  • and then right when they say the name
  • you go like Karen Karen this is to try
  • to make it seem I really well it is
  • because it myself I'm like I'm so
  • fucking rude I'm sorry yes of course I
  • don't you think that we connected meeple
  • yeah I associate my girlfriend that's 2d
  • like I love me too I don't introduce
  • your mediator don't introduce yourself
  • and go mind any rude yes Delia
  • the worst thing is when your girl says
  • you know hey I'm Karen and then the
  • other guy goes oh hey how's it going you
  • like here's your job they're called up
  • their name is so paranoid with being the
  • guy that goes out what's up bro
  • because usually hey what's up bro what's
  • up man leads to how you try to get
  • clever and I'm like muchacho weird a
  • piggelin did cheat camp you're going
  • everywhere with my name happen the
  • fuckin troll thing I'm used to work
  • though you could get a situation the
  • same day bro without a man it is
  • invisible worse when I've had recently I
  • went to town to this club and that there
  • was some guy some chef at a restaurant
  • right he was a big fan so yeah come on
  • down so we go down and this guy feeds us
  • like it's the last Thanksgiving ever
  • everything on the menu it was like
  • bizarre like we had like shrimp and then
  • waffles came out fucker was I was unreal
  • but it was all delicious and I hung out
  • and talked to this guy for 45 minutes
  • and he goes yeah I'm coming out to the
  • Late Show tonight I do what hang on I'll
  • get you a DVD thank you so much boba so
  • the end of the show the guy stands in
  • line like a regular person so I'm
  • totally in in malmo going hey you have a
  • good time all right thanks a lot so the
  • guy who just made me a free meal I'm
  • talking like hey what's going on like
  • hey man you have a good time you want a
  • DVD or something like that and the guys
  • looking at me he paid for it now he
  • ended up walking away and then this mini
  • mill it comes up to me he goes oh did
  • you see chef Chris chef Chris came out I
  • go I go oh no no no but I went down to
  • his restaurant the next day with the
  • Indian Hanna it's like dude you got to
  • understand people come up to you they
  • might mind my brother just died he liked
  • your comedy or they just like bizarre
  • shit people slapping you on the back of
  • it again very striking fuck yourself
  • like I literally job I felt folsome what
  • the guys remember just wanting to make
  • sure that tripping and what was it
  • walking
  • [Laughter]
  • [Laughter]
  • brilliant I'm leaning over student
  • computing resources no I can't remember
  • I'm be really bad since using cell
  • phones I don't know what it is like I
  • can remember every football stat from
  • the 70s but I can't remember names of
  • restaurants like with my girl I can't I
  • just all the restaurants that we go to
  • regularly all have nicknames because I
  • can't remember like you mean the place
  • well you know that place up the street
  • yeah yeah that one's called pancake
  • circus yeah because they have the
  • whipped cream on it shit what's the call
  • you mean this is real a real
  • manufacturing one I don't know that is
  • another place I call special sandwich
  • making circus let me suspect making
  • special sandwich no I have like me I
  • just can't remember the places but if
  • she brings up the name of the place I
  • just I know what you mean right sort of
  • context well I know it's not the right
  • name at this point obviously so what I
  • do is I just throw it out there and it
  • makes her laugh like I remember I
  • remember the name of some movie I called
  • it the the the last days of Dracula and
  • it was the Tom Cruise Brad Pitt
  • interview available I knew it wasn't the
  • last days of trakula but the last days
  • of disco had just come out and I knew it
  • was about vampire can't be bothered your
  • brain can't be bothered remembering okay
  • that can't be bothered can't like I
  • seriously cannot fucking remember yeah I
  • have a terrible memory dude hey you want
  • to use oh my god
  • what the fuck what the fuck I forgot
  • are you already know because I just mind
  • me how I always they just reminded me of
  • a drink what my dad called Grey Goose
  • one time he goes hey Phil he goes you
  • still drinking that blue Swan you know
  • what it just occurred to me that's where
  • you get it from that's where you get all
  • that stuff the last days of Dracula to
  • whores in a pool you know that
  • where'd the bitch go like you get that
  • from him like you guys have a vague idea
  • of what it is that you're going up when
  • I'm doing the movie thing so you're just
  • like throwing out like signifiers like
  • you know that there's there's a girl and
  • she's being slutty and there was a pool
  • so yeah - horrible it's vampire and
  • they're doing some sort of an interview
  • so yeah the last base is Dracula
  • well I know I'm doing more like the
  • $10,000 pyramid like I'm throwing out
  • clues for the listener and then they
  • just go do you mean that I go yeah I
  • mean that because if I don't do that
  • I'm going to sit there going ah and I'm
  • not going to remember and they're they
  • gonna be tortured so it becomes like a
  • little game you know what I mean I
  • wonder how you would do on that pyramid
  • show because you know they're bringing
  • it back I would do horrible myself would
  • just give if I was giving you a clue
  • ever right wouldn't you all right you
  • know what let's play right now I'm gonna
  • get a fucking word and we're gonna we're
  • gonna play right now all right we'll do
  • a couple of these get out of yeah you
  • got to get a microphone I just realized
  • you guys need to know what the fucking
  • words are so you can play at home
  • all right the words gonna be a cape it's
  • going to be Paris something else in twat
  • I gotta have something filthy in there
  • twats gonna be the last one all right
  • Paris Kardashian's and what else
  • God what the fuck else it's why I was
  • why I would suck it and I can't I
  • certainly couldn't create the fucking
  • show Paris go - Ian twat I need some
  • before twat pit bulls so get that want
  • to go get an easy one all right all
  • right and she's back well you know I'm
  • just gonna hit pause so we can stop
  • torturing people here I love the pause
  • button though
  • okay and we're back everybody alright
  • once again its side opposing the fuck is
  • $10,000 pyramid all right Nia you're up
  • first will be giving or receiving I will
  • be receiving well what they say be
  • giving it taken yeah do they think
  • giving or I don't fucking something like
  • that you know you me given the password
  • or they're taking the fucking clues
  • alright gun to your head if you had to
  • give a take alright okay ready
  • ready are we on the clock here yes okay
  • a detention can we get a clock in clock
  • time here I'm going to get one of these
  • on YouTube right now what not we don't
  • do that alright here we go
  • use the stopwatch thing on that computer
  • are the people at home the fans at home
  • going to hear a fucking clock going
  • alright okay we're back and there's only
  • 33 seconds on this clock so there's four
  • things you gotta get okay a topic or I'm
  • just just know there's not that this is
  • just random shit that came out of my
  • head
  • you got you got 33 seconds let's see how
  • many you can get okay alright you ready
  • ready
  • and here we go okay
  • this is a city it's a one of the great
  • cities in the world are sitting and
  • people love it and they talk down to you
  • they fucking hate you
  • you smell get out of my country you
  • stupid American Way
  • you're a stupid American I'm better than
  • you you like my braids Harris yeah oh my
  • god sticking in my twat I'm going to
  • marry a rapper hey my dad doesn't he has
  • his dick but he's a woman now Kim
  • Kardashian uh Kris Jenner
  • hey we got a I wonder what they're doing
  • keeping up with a car - yes you got so
  • you got to you want to keep playing your
  • clues are horrific shut up hey sickness
  • let my swash girl now why he still has a
  • dick it's true so I'll show everything I
  • pick this up like SWAT and that was
  • supposed to be a glue I always think
  • it's you did a porno alright let's do
  • let's we got two more
  • oh here we go you're right but you you
  • got passage it is fun
  • all right here we go you ready okay I
  • knew you'd be a be taking or receiving
  • giving a receiving course fucking is
  • receiving okay guys like you sang that
  • all right here we go starting three two
  • all right well we're misunderstood I
  • didn't bite that mailman he looked at me
  • first
  • piffle yes all right this is uh this is
  • something that you say and people get
  • mad and it could smell sometimes but if
  • it's a fresh one it's great and your
  • fucking stick it you stick it right it's
  • between your legs between your legs I
  • know keep going pussy yes worst name
  • worst name cunt worse no not as bad ah
  • yes whoo you did it you just get it my
  • long river that was great
  • be asked to be on the rebooted pyramid
  • no that will never happen
  • that'll all have to be like I come on
  • okay that's a real show you give your
  • gun yeah and you took work away from me
  • oh come on I will never be on a charades
  • team with you oh come on I will never I
  • gotta come up with some and and do you
  • why don't you do it
  • when's you fuckin a lot of summer then
  • I'll do it how about that all right
  • didn't you just say that yes no I want
  • way to come what no I got it look a rain
  • I will do it on Thursday okay we're
  • doing on Thursday all right you come up
  • with you got we got the quick little
  • timer there I know stick it up with a
  • lot actually I probably disqualified the
  • last one because i used the word twice
  • when i was trying to get the Kardashians
  • right he'll marry a rat hey look what
  • we're doing over here Keeping Up with
  • the Kardashians it worked though it did
  • work
  • what do you want from me alright alright
  • so those of you weren't listening the
  • past week got fuckin what do you say
  • there what do we do the $10,000 pyramid
  • yes because it all came about because we
  • were talking about how you just
  • notoriously sort of just guessed things
  • wrong or it was really more about how
  • your your movie titles that's how it
  • started yeah you know well I just I
  • can't know the last names of Dracula
  • stead of saying Pearl Jam I'd be like
  • flannel shirt oh I'm in a trance this
  • musics making me go crazy I don't like
  • George Bush right exactly
  • but I knew that one that's Eddie better
  • yeah so the Eddie's playing playing the
  • pyramid game alright
  • so evidently I sucked at giving clues
  • let's see if you're better all right you
  • ready oh wait so I'm going first
  • no it's your turn I gave last time you
  • received like I thought I also gave I
  • thought we both know no we did we both
  • did no it doesn't matter but now you do
  • do you have them in your head oh you
  • stink you were supposed to make a list I
  • know what's better for next time then no
  • you can't do that to people
  • I'm sorry people well I'm gonna hit
  • pause you're gonna do it right now all
  • right they're gonna be easy all right
  • we're back she said they're going to be
  • don't make them easy it's three okay
  • here we go let's get the clock going
  • here all right and go so uh Michael
  • Jordan has won a ring that's quarry a
  • mistress a mistress think that Seth
  • quarry has one of the people think
  • they're ugly
  • I'm sure LeBron has a haircut Snickers
  • yeah thank you okay um they're not
  • native to California but they're
  • everywhere the avocados they provide
  • shade people uh Real Housewives them
  • Real Housewife I'll fix a me
  • victus they're natural palm trees yeah
  • Graham um fourth of July celebration
  • back pops heart attacks they're in this
  • America fireworks yeah oh come on that
  • was a joke well I was too easy they you
  • know what you just made me feel like I
  • was special come up think of a difficult
  • one right now some obscure
  • so I can guess okay you got it all right
  • and 3 a 2 a 1 there a big huge animal
  • that spells that you think cheetah
  • they're in the water cats they're
  • vicious
  • skirt sharks Barracuda whales but
  • they're they can run fast they're in the
  • water they run fast frogs they're very
  • Platypus air vicious and they attack you
  • Barracuda they're in an iPhone
  • commercial and it says at the end I
  • thought I'm in - can you hear me now
  • there were a game a game from the Sanaa
  • Police 70 to 80 light any more 80s there
  • was a bunch of them in a ring jaws and
  • they had to eat and like you and your
  • song animal and the water
  • a big fat animal where is a wall returns
  • in the sale and in the game goes for of
  • them in east corner and you and your
  • friends like hit it and they had for
  • like Oh a hippo yes I thought you meant
  • the ocean ah fuck that's something like
  • three minutes to get you should have
  • said they're hungry hungry good my don't
  • want it to be too easy
  • oh there you go I could have done better
  • no that was good see you make them hard
  • they make them hard then it's been the
  • bit last longer okay make it easy means
  • you shoving you open with it rain
  • umbrella okay

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Description

Bill and Dane share stories about not remembering names at parties and other places in Opie and Anthony. The clip also includes a funny game Bill played. Enjoy!

Please make sure to subscribe to my Twitter account.
https://twitter.com/CellarCrowd

More clips to come from Louis CK, Norm MacDonald, Opie and Anthony, Patrice O'Neal, Jim Norton, Jim Jefferies, Joe Rogan, Rich Vos, Kevin Hart and Chris Rock to come in the future...

Keywords

Cellar Crowd Cellarcrowd Bill Burr Dane Cook Opie and Anthony Louis CK Norm MacDonald Patrice O Neal Joe Rogan Jim Jefferies Kevin Hart

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