Video Thanos VS Darkseid (Marvel VS DC) | DEATH BATTLE!

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26:42   |   Dec 19, 2018


Thanos VS Darkseid (Marvel VS DC) | DEATH BATTLE!
Thanos VS Darkseid (Marvel VS DC) | DEATH BATTLE! thumb Thanos VS Darkseid (Marvel VS DC) | DEATH BATTLE! thumb Thanos VS Darkseid (Marvel VS DC) | DEATH BATTLE! thumb


  • Chad: Hey guys, before we get started, I want to tell you about 23andme, which is a DNA testing service.
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  • Now through December 25th, get 30% off any 23andme kit. Order your DNA kit at 23andMe.com/deathbattle.
  • That's the number 2,3 a,nd me.com/DEATH BATTLE.
  • Again that's 23andMe/deathbattle.
  • (Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates)
  • Wiz: Power.
  • Some spend entire lives in search of it.
  • While for others it is their birthright.
  • But what truly matters in the end is how it's used.
  • Boomstick: Like with Thanos, the ultimate villain of the Avengers.
  • Wiz: And Darkside, arch-nemesis to the Justice League.
  • Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
  • Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE!
  • Over a million years ago...
  • When mankind's evolution first broke away from the apes,
  • the cosmic Celestials arrived on earth.
  • They experimented on the human race, creating three separate variants.
  • The powerful and beautiful Eternals, destined for immortality.
  • Those with a latent mutated gene, which would one day spawn the X-Men.
  • And a deformed disturbing subspecies known as the Deviants.
  • Boomstick: Like that one website with all the porn.
  • Wiz: What?
  • Boomstick: Anyway the Eternals eventually colonized the moons of Saturn thanks to this science wizard named Mentor.
  • Whose collar's like the lampshade I put on my dog to make him stop lickin' his junk.
  • Wiz: Charming.
  • But while the Eternal seemed like a perfect people,
  • Mentor's own son would change this forever and force the cosmos to its needs.
  • His name was Thanos.
  • Thanos: You were a fool to betray me, Ronan.
  • Prepare to meet your doom!
  • Boomstick: Thanos was born into a life of luxury.
  • Sure his mom went totally insane and tried to kill him right away, but what do you think you'd do if you popped out a creepy California raisin baby?
  • Wiz: It seems the Celestials experiments weren't quite so different from each other.
  • Despite his eternal heritage, Thanos' large disproportionate body and thick purple skin where thanks to a deviant mutation.
  • Boomstick: Which you'd think would mean everyone would hate him.
  • But nope.
  • The Eternals were super progressive, and totally cool with a wrinkly grimace walkin' around.
  • Wiz: In fact, Thanos was greatly admired for his exceptional intelligence and creativity.
  • He was set for a positive and decorated future.
  • Boomstick: Until he threw it all away for a girl...
  • Hey, I don't blame him.
  • Lots of guys do crazy shit for hot chicks.
  • Especially when you're a secret murder-happy psycho who's obsessed with the physical manifestation of death.
  • Wiz: To earn Death's reciprocal love, Thanos took a journey. A quest to ravage the universe in her name.
  • Boomstick: And as an eternal, he had plenty of superhuman power to do it.
  • He was already the strongest and fastest Eternal around,
  • But he boosted his power even more with bionic and magic enhancements.
  • Wiz: And while his fiscal and psionic abilities are impressive,
  • His incredible genius led to building massive spaceships, shields that can withstand planet level attacks, and even a time window.
  • Boomstick: And the most badass throne ever.
  • It comes packed with its own laser weapons, light speed travel and it can teleport through space and time.
  • Wiz: And unlike most Eternals, Thanos has also dabbled in the mystic arts:
  • Petrification, Curses, even some of his throne's abilities seem to be more magic than hard science.
  • All of this potential makes Thanos an incredibly dangerous foe.
  • Boomstick: Yeah, good luck tryin' to hurt him.
  • He can survive pretty much anything,
  • Including a gun specifically designed to kill him!
  • He even shot himself in the face with it just to prove how goddamn awesome he is!
  • Boomstick: D- Don't try that at home kids.
  • Wiz: He's strong enough to overpower two Thors at once,
  • Snap a universal weapon known for its extreme durability,
  • And even lift the gargantuan Galactus engine.
  • Boomstick: A giant super rocket big enough to move planets!
  • According to Mr. Fantastic, and that guy know his stuff,
  • This thing is hundreds of miles long!
  • Wiz: While the Galactus engine's size seems to vary from comic to comic,
  • Reed's assertion matches its appearance when it propelled Ego the Living Planet.
  • By examining the engine in three separate parts, applying the density of steel, and comparing Ego's diameter of four thousand 165 miles,
  • We've found that Thanos must be lifting about 50 quintillion tons.
  • That's like holding up 140 trillion Empire State buildings.
  • Boomstick: And he's doin' this inside the gut of a living Kurt Russell planet that eats other planets and even stars!
  • Man.
  • I thought I had an iron stomach.
  • Wiz: But destroying a star isn't a simple thing.
  • Any energy directed toward a star would just be absorbed and adapted to.
  • Only by completely nullifying a star's constant energy output can it be eliminated.
  • Boomstick: So Ego's stomach acid it must be deadlier than frickin supernovas or a black hole!
  • He'd probably love'd Mama Boomstick's world famous ghost pepper pie.
  • Wiz: Ugh!
  • Boomstick: It's fine.
  • Just dip it in some squirrel paste.
  • Wiz: Surviving the stomach of Ego isn't so far-fetched for Thanos,
  • Considering he's also survived a dip in a blackhole,
  • Extreme reality warping across the Metaverse, and the voice of Black Bolt.
  • Boomstick: What's so special about this guy you ask?
  • Well with just a whisper he obliterated 1 billion tons of rock!
  • This guy can easily break a planet with just one shout.
  • And Thanos took three of them to the face.
  • Wiz: Although Thanos isn't known for being a speedster character,
  • He's still quick enough to battle the likes of Silver Surfer,
  • A being who can cover five hundred thousand light-years in just a couple of seconds,
  • Putting him over three trillion times faster than light.
  • With so many impressive showings It's hard to truly find a weakness.
  • Deadpool: Except for oneeeeeee.
  • Boomstick: Oh, Goddammit!
  • Deadpool: Thank you, thank you.
  • Glad to be here.
  • It's me: Deadpool.
  • Slayer of Deathstrokes, befriender of Ponies, and breaker of Mad Titan hearts.
  • I'm like Casanova. The ravenous reaper can't get enough of me.
  • Thanos just hates that.
  • Oof!
  • Wiz: Well Thanos did cursed him so he couldn't die and be with her...
  • Deadpool: I know right?
  • He's a big purple crybaby.
  • Have you seen that chin though?
  • It's like he got hit in the face with a Slap Chop.
  • Boomstick: Don't you have a like a party in Pony Town to be in?
  • Deadpool: Aw come on, buddy, you can't have a DEATH BATTLE season without Deadpool right?
  • Wiz: We did.
  • The last one.
  • Deadpool: Nobody counts that one.
  • I mean, that's a year you pit a dog in trenchcoat against a goddamn bear.
  • (chuckles)
  • What did you think would happened?
  • Boomstick: (laughs)
  • Yeah.
  • Deadpool: Whatever.
  • I know when I'm not wanted.
  • See you next year.
  • DP out.
  • Wiz: Ugh, good riddance.
  • Boomstick: Even with all of these powers and abilities Thanos still felt he needed something more to impress Death.
  • Think he's compensatin' for somethin', Wiz?
  • Wiz: Oh absolutely.
  • So he built the Infinity Gauntlet, a golden glove which harnessed the power of six multi colored gems known as Infinity Stones.
  • With these, he could control the full spectrum of space, reality, mind, power, soul and time.
  • Boomstick: And with those powers combined, he summons Captain Planet.
  • Wiz: Well, more like the destruction of half the universe, but sure, whatever.
  • Bucky: Steve?
  • (Anybody else not feel so good?...)
  • Boomstick: Eh, same difference.
  • But wait! Isn't the Time Stone the green one in Dr. Strange's necklace?
  • Wiz: Well in the Movie Universe, the Time Stone is green, but in the original comics series, it's orange.
  • This is because every universe has its own unique Infinity Gauntlet that works exclusively there,
  • And sometimes the stones are different in color.
  • Here, just follow this handy diagram I made.
  • Boomstick: Yeah, don't care.
  • So with all the stones, he wiped out half the universe with only a snap of his fingers.
  • But he also started going a bit crazy and began to doubt his ability to perform.
  • Hey, happens to the best of us.
  • Wiz: Yet it never keeps the Mad Titan at bay for long,
  • Whose constant lust for power and godly status in the universe is only matched by his drive to just...
  • ...kill everybody.
  • Thanos: Dread it.
  • Run from it.
  • Destiny arrives all the same.
  • And now it’s here.
  • Or should I say...
  • I am.
  • Wiz: Ten billion years ago...
  • The primeval Old Gods clashed in a cosmic civil war called: Ragnarök.
  • Boomstick: That the one with Thor and Jeff Goldblum?
  • Wiz: No.
  • Yes...
  • Kind of.
  • The battle was so great, that the result was an explosion that tore the God's asunder,
  • Sending a great Godwave throughout the metaverse,
  • Eventually birthing a new generation known as...
  • The New Gods.
  • Boomstick: How original!
  • Well, some of these include Alpine Space Skier,
  • Fancy Pants Shakespeare,
  • And this cyborg spider Humpty Dumpty.
  • Half of these guys ended up on a beautiful paradise world called: New Genesis,
  • While the rest got stuck on an actually fireball called: Apokolips.
  • With a "K".
  • Wiz: Among these damned souls was Prince Uxas,
  • Second in line to the throne behind his older brother, Drax.
  • Not Dave Bautista Drax.
  • But DC Drax.
  • Boomstick: Aw man, I really like that guy.
  • He's not afraid to say what he's thinkin'.
  • Drax: You are horrifying to look at, yes.
  • Wiz: To rule Apokolips, Drax was meant to enter the mysterious Omega Pit and absorb the Omega Effect,
  • A force of destructive entropy bound within Apokolips.
  • Boomstick: But being the crafty bastard he was,
  • Uxas tricked DC Drax into getting killed, and stole the loot for himself.
  • Wiz: And so the Omega Effect transformed Uxas into the physical manifestation of tyranny:
  • Darkseid.
  • Cyborg: Now what?
  • Darkseid: Now...
  • You die.
  • Boomstick: As the king of Apokolips, Darkseid entered a war on the universe.
  • Whether he was kicking New Genesis ass, or givin' the Man of Steel a hard time,
  • Darkseid was always workin' toward his one goal: conquerin' all life.
  • Wiz: And thanks to his New God physiology, he has incredible superhuman strength, speed, agility, and even immortality.
  • He's already over 245,000 years old,
  • And that's given him plenty of time to push the limits of the Omega Effect.
  • Boomstick: He's got a whole bunch of cool Omega powers that break all the rules of nature.
  • He can teleport across time and space, fly at unthinkable speeds, warp reality around him,
  • And grow super sized.
  • Wiz: Something he's pretty used to doing.
  • The scale between the prime universe and Darkseid's own universe, the Fourth World, is vast.
  • He travels between universes via Boom Tubes, which automatically adjust his size to what is considered normal within his destination.
  • Otherwise, he'd have a hard time fitting in,
  • Given that the normal size of a New God is about the size of a star.
  • Boomstick: Oh yeah.
  • I've had that kinda trouble with my Boomstick Tube.
  • Wiz: He can use various psionic powers like telekinesis and telepathy,
  • And can easily manipulate sentient beings thanks to a cosmic awareness of the multiverse powered by eighteen divine senses.
  • Boomstick: Y'know, I bet he never forgets where he leaves his keys.
  • Like a space-age necromancer Darkseid can possess living or deceased beings,
  • Controlling them like puppets.
  • He can even control basic inanimate objects,
  • Just like the Nomad of Nowhere.
  • Boomstick: AH! HOLY SHIT!
  • Uh, Wiz?
  • Never thought I'd say this but...
  • I might have had too much to drink.
  • Wiz: But Darkseid's deadliest technique is his signature Omega Beams.
  • These burning lasers of hatred are capable of instant sharp turns and tracking multiple targets at once.
  • Flash: They're splitting up.
  • They can do that?
  • Superman: They're locked on us!
  • Wiz: On contact the beams can either disintegrate their target, transmute matter,
  • Erase beings from existence or trap enemies in the Omega Sanction.
  • The Omega Sanction is a sort of life trap.
  • Its target enters a self-contained reality where they live out an infinite number of lives for eternity.
  • Boomstick: Oh that doesn't sound so bad.
  • I just do a Bill Murray and use all those lives to learn piano or save a dog or...
  • Yeah that's probably about it.
  • Wiz: Well, there's a catch.
  • Each life in the sanction gets progressively worse as it goes,
  • Including how you die.
  • When the third Mr. Miracle was trapped in it he was fairly unaware...
  • Until he was beaten, burned, mutilated and castrated,
  • Broken to a point of intentionally overdosing.
  • And that was just his first life in the sanction.
  • Boomstick: Oh.
  • N- No thanks.
  • I- I'm good.
  • To overpower the multiverse, Darkseid would face some pretty steep competition.
  • However his power eclipses those of even some of the strongest heroes around.
  • Boomstick: He's fast enough to take a trip to the Source Wall in just a few seconds.
  • That's at the very edge of existence.
  • So like you're not gonna be able to Map quest that shit.
  • Wiz: The edge of the observable universe is about 45 billion light-years away and scientists hypothesized the actual scale is over 100 sextillions times greater.
  • It took a whole year for the legendary helm of Nabu to make this journey.
  • But for Darkseid, all of five seconds.
  • To pull this off he'd have to be moving over 87 duodecillion times the speed of light!
  • Boomstick: Which is... totally a real number that I understand.
  • But if he super big in Fourth World, wouldn't he have an easier time getting to the edge?
  • Wiz: We're factoring the scaling across his universe as a whole.
  • Besides, technically, the Fourth World is four billion years older than our own universe.
  • So the distance to the edge is probably even further.
  • Boomstick: He's so quick he can choke out Superman before he even sees him move.
  • Or knock him out cold in just a few bitch slaps.
  • And Superman can survive supernovas to the face!
  • Also since Darkseid wasn't affected by the crisis mega reboot,
  • It's still canon that he can blitz Pre-Crisis Supes,
  • Who can sneeze solar systems away!
  • Wiz: Darkseid is strong enough to crush a Lantern ring with ease,
  • Destroy planets with his Omega Beams, and wipe out the Justice League with a single strike.
  • Even with all this power, Darkseid believed he could not dominate the universe until he discovered his ultimate prize:
  • The Anti-Life Equation.
  • Boomstick: Ha!
  • I knew numbers were bad for you.
  • Take that Miss Jensen and your stupid ruler.
  • Wiz: The Anti-Life is technically an entity of its own,
  • A fragmented piece of the source from which all life originates.
  • However, Darkseid discovered a formula which essentially manipulates the anti life's presence in all living things,
  • In a manner which definitively proves that all freedom and hope are meaningless efforts.
  • Boomstick: So it's math that just makes you sad.
  • Wiz: Yes.
  • And a slave to Darkseid, but yes.
  • So the Anti-Life is pretty weird.
  • But you know what's even more so?
  • The Darkseid that you think you know isn't actually Darkseid.
  • Boomstick: Say what now?!
  • Wiz: He became the very essence of tyranny itself.
  • This noncorporeal god rests in the higher plane of fourth world and molds avatars of his consciousness to interact with the multiverse around him.
  • While each avatar is weaker than his true self,
  • It's a necessary handicap,
  • As his own existence in the universe other than Fourth World would shatter the laws of reality,
  • Ending time and space as we know it.
  • The sheer power of the Omega Effect threatens entire cosmos,
  • Similar to how its equal, the Astro Force, could counter in Oblivion bomb capable of annihilating the universe in a single blast.
  • Boomstick: Holy shit!
  • His avatar may lose some power,
  • But it's still tough enough to survive a bomb Lex Luthor designed to rip apart existence,
  • And a shot from Marvelous Marno's Master Blaster,
  • Which sounds like it was made up by a circus clown,
  • And that kind of makes sense because apparently no life-form can stand up to it.
  • Just like clowns.
  • Wiz: Except for Darkseid.
  • Boomstick: Well Darkseid isn't immune to all guns.
  • All you need is a neat little Radion bullet.
  • Wiz: Think of Radion as the new God's kryptonite.
  • Despite all his power, Darkseid is far from invincible.
  • He's had his heart ripped out, his soul stolen by Death, and his essence shattered by Superman...
  • uhh...
  • Singing...
  • Boomstick: Hey Darkseid?
  • 🎶Look at this photograph.🎶
  • Wiz: To this day, even after so many cataclysmic events,
  • The lord of apocalypse continues his mission.
  • Every living being in the multiverse will bend to the will of Darkseid.
  • Darkseid: It seems I have you to thank for my resurrection.
  • Though your world will suffer slowly,
  • I grant you a quick death.
  • *B O O M*
  • Wiz: Alright the combatants are set.
  • Let's end this debate once and for all.
  • Boomstick: But first, I need something that can save my godly hunger.
  • Wiz: We're in the holiday season.
  • So nobody wants to worry about preparing meals.
  • Thankfully cooking delicious wholesome meals can be an easy feat with Blue Apron.
  • Starting in January Blue Apron chefs are working with health and wellness experts at www wait watch this re-imagined.
  • To make a variety of fantastic recipes perfect for a healthy lifestyle.
  • The new free style plan features six weekly recipes and you can choose up to three per week.
  • Get pre portion ingredients and create wonderful meals for as low as four smart points each.
  • So enjoy your holidays without worrying about grocery shopping or planning.
  • Let Blue Apron take care of that.
  • My favorite part is feelin' like a master chef makin' creative and delicious meals with my own hands.
  • You guys really need to try it out.
  • Wiz: It's pretty nice coming home knowing I'll have a delicious meal I can whip up with ease.
  • Boomstick: So check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free at Blueapron.com/Battle.
  • That's Blueapron.com/Battle to get your first three meals free.
  • Wiz: Blue Apron "A Better Way to Cook."
  • Boomstick: But right now, IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Deadpool: It can fly, it can teleport, it'll send you through time and space,
  • and it's *perfect* for gaming.
  • You follow me?
  • Sure you do.
  • You're a foward thinking guy.
  • Thanos: At last, there it is.
  • Deadpool: Hey, hey Thanos!
  • Buddy!
  • How are you doing?
  • Rockin' that chin as always!
  • *C O N F E T T I*
  • Thanos: Get off my throne and kneel.
  • Face death at the hand of your new emperor.
  • Darkseid: You know not the infinite wealth of destruction I command.
  • Announcer: FIGHT!
  • Darkseid: You dare strike me?
  • Beg for the sweet release of death!
  • Thanos: You first.
  • Thanos: I am Thanos.
  • Thanos is supreme.
  • Thanos is God.
  • Thanos: These games bore me.
  • But this will bring a smile to my face.
  • *S N A P*
  • Darkseid: It'll have to wait.
  • *Multiple snaps*
  • Thanos: COWARD!!!
  • WHO ARE YOU?!?!?
  • Darkseid: I'll show you.
  • Darkseid: This is who I am.
  • *S N A P*
  • ...
  • *Multiple snaps*
  • Darkseid: Your reality is far from my own.
  • Darkseid: You have no power here.
  • Thanos: I am Thanos.
  • I am all things!
  • Darkseid: Pitiful.
  • *Kissing noises*
  • Deadpool: Is he looking at us?
  • Oh my god!
  • It's Deadpool with a gun!
  • *B A N G*
  • Darkseid: Behold!
  • An endless death.
  • *C R U S H*
  • Deadpool: So you watching any anime?
  • Announcer: KO!
  • Boomstick: Oh man, that's the worst way he could've gone out.
  • 'Cause now he's gonna be dying over and over and over...
  • Wiz: Thanos was an incredible foe, especially while wielding the Infinity Gauntlet.
  • Unfortunately, the Gauntlet had a fatal flaw.
  • Boomstick: Yeah that Golden Glove only works in its own universe.
  • And Darkseid could easily move the fight to new ones with his Boomstick tubes.
  • Universe hoppin' is kind of his thing.
  • Wiz: The Reed Richards of the interdimensional Council of Reed's figured this out.
  • It's three founding members (Reed, Reed, and Reed) each possessed Infinity Gauntlets,
  • But discovered that they couldn't work outside of their own universes.
  • Boomstick: The Gauntlet had no problem making Darkseid's avatar not feel so good,
  • But since Darkseid's true form was always in the Fourth World universe,
  • Thanos couldn't actually finish him off with the Gauntlet.
  • Wiz: Even if this fight took place in entirely neutral territory,
  • The victor wouldn't change.
  • Thanos' Gauntlet wouldn't work and True Darkseid's presence... would actually just destroy everything just by being there.
  • Boomstick: But he didn't just lose because of the Gauntlet.
  • He really couldn't keep up with the space golem.
  • Wiz: Even going toe-to-toe with him being as fast as Silver Surfer was nothing compared to when Darkseid took a trip to the edge of existence.
  • This puts Darkseid almost 28 octillion times faster than Thanos.
  • Boomstick: And his Omega effect scales to the Astro Force, which could equal the oblivion bomb's universe destroying blast.
  • This means the Omega Effect and Infinity Gauntlet were both pretty even in terms of destructive ability.
  • But unlike Thanos,
  • Darkseid can use his Omega Powers whenever and wherever he wants.
  • Wiz: Once he lost the Gauntlet Thanos could certainly survive star level attacks and even greater.
  • But universal destruction is definitely a bit more than his purple eternal hide could handle.
  • And even after that...
  • Darkseid had plenty of ways to end the fight whenever he wanted like the Omega Sanction.
  • Boomstick: Thanos was super powerful
  • But Darkseid was just faster, stronger and even more ruthless.
  • Wiz: And if you think about it.
  • Thanos needed the Infinity Gauntlet to become a god.
  • But Darkseid already was one.
  • Boomstick: Thanos just couldn't...
  • Deadpool: Run the Gauntlet!
  • Boomstick: Oh, you son of a bitch!
  • Wiz: (groans)
  • The winner is Darkseid.
  • Ben: Hey thanks for watching this year's Season Finale!
  • If you want the music from this battle you can get it by clicking the link below.
  • Chad: Or if you guys want to see Thanos and Darkseid in a rap battle.
  • Just click that video right over there and check out our friends JTMusic.

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