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Video Porn Wars: Tucker Carlson Vs. Michael Avenatti

TheTV.info
05:50   |   2M+ views   |   10/17/2018 at 22:27

Transcription

  • WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW, I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
  • FIRST OF ALL,--( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
  • THANK YOU!
  • I FEEL THE SAME WAY!
  • HAPPY FRIDAY, EVERYBODY!
  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ARE YOU ALL-- ARE YOU ALL HAVING
  • A GOOD FRIDAY?
  • ( CHEERS ) YOU ARE ALL LIARS!
  • ( LAUGHTER ) I'M GOING TO LET YOU INSIDE THE
  • TELEVISION MAGIC HERE: WE PRE-TAPED ALL OF THIS ON
  • THURSDAY.
  • AND I JUST THREW THESE PEOPLE UNDER THE BUS FOR A SPECIFIC
  • REASON.
  • I ONLY BRING IT UP, BECAUSE HURRICANE FLORENCE IS PREDICTED
  • TO MAKE LANDFALL ON FRIDAY.
  • SO AS WE TAPE THIS, WE DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT DAMAGE IT'S
  • DONE, BUT WE CERTAINLY HOPE EVERYBODY IS SAFE.
  • OF COURSE, PRESIDENT TRUMP IS STILL DEALING WITH ANOTHER
  • STORM, WHICH BRINGS US TO TONIGHT'S "STORMY WATCH."
  • ♪ ♪ ♪ STORMY AND HER LAWYER, MICHAEL
  • AVENATTI, WENT ON "THE VIEW" THIS WEEK.
  • AND SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T HAPPY ABOUT THAT, LIKE FOX NEWS
  • PERSONALITY TUCKER CARLSON, SEEN HERE WATCHING HIS OWN SHOW.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
  • AND WHAT I CAN ONLY DESCRIBE AS TUCKER'S MOUTH MADE WORD AT
  • AVENATTI AND STORMY.
  • >> THEY GAVE THREE SEGMENTS OF THEIR SHOW TO A NEWLY MINTED
  • POLITICAL PUNDIT WHO HAS SPENT HER CAREER HAVING SEX WITH
  • STRANGERS FOR MONEY.
  • ALONG FOR THE RIDE WAS HER CREEPY PORN LAWYER.
  • >> Stephen: I WOULDN'T THROW AROUND THE WORD "CREEPY" IF I
  • LOOKED LIKE FANCY LAD WHO PAID HIS WET NURSE TO SIT ON HIS LAP.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
  • NOW, AVENATTI FIRED BACK, TWEETING TUCKER'S FULL NAME,
  • "TUCKER SWANSON McNEAR CARLSON, DO YOU TRULY EXPECT PEOPLE TO
  • BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE NEVER VIEWED PORN?
  • WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU VIEWED PORN?
  • YOU DEMEAN MY CLIENT AND ME BECAUSE OF HER PROFESSION,
  • WHILE YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE HYPOCRITE.
  • NOBODY LIKES A HYPOCRITE."
  • THAT IS A LOW BLOW, AVENATTI.
  • YOU LEAVE TUCKER ALONE.
  • YOU THINK HE LIKES BEING A HYPOCRITE?
  • ( LAUGHTER ) NO, BUT IT'S PART OF HIS JOB.
  • YES, OVER THE YEARS, TUCKER HAS DEBASED HIMSELF.
  • HE HAS DEGRADED HIS REPUTATION BY SAYING DISGUSTING THINGS WITH
  • HIS MOUTH, ALL IN FRONT A CAMERA FOR THE CHEAP THRILLS OF AN
  • AUDIENCE OF OLD MEN, JUST FOR A FEW DOLLARS, BUT HE NEEDED THE
  • MONEY.
  • ALL I'M SAYING IS BEING TUCKER CARLSON IS A LEGITIMATE
  • PROFESSION.
  • YOU JUST SHUDDER TO THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN GROWING UP TO DO
  • IT.
  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HE'S SOMEBODY'S LITTLE BOY!
  • HE'S SOMEBODY'S LITTLE BOY!
  • ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE-- BOY, I GOT OVER THAT
  • EMOTIONAL MOMENT QUICKLY.
  • MEANWHILE, WE'RE LESS THAN TWO MONTHS AWAY FROM THE MIDTERMS,
  • WHEN MILLIONS OF AMERICANS WILL HEAD TO THE POLLS TO VOTE
  • AGAINST A MAN WHO IS NOT ON THE BALLOT.
  • AT STAKE IS CONTROL OF THE CONGRESS.
  • THE SENATE'S A LONG-SHOT FOR THE DEMOCRATS, BUT IT'S A DIFFERENT
  • STORY IN THE HOUSE, WHERE THE LATEST POLLS FIND THAT DEMOCRATS
  • HAVE A 14-POINT LEAD OVER REPUBLICANS.
  • VOTERS--( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
  • UH-HUH.
  • YOU FORGOT WHAT HAPPENED TWO YEARS AGO?
  • OKAY.
  • VOTERS WERE ASKED WHETHER THEY SUPPORT A GENERIC REPUBLICAN OR
  • A GENERIC DEMOCRAT.
  • THOUGH, REALLY, ALL THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES ARE PRETTY
  • GENERIC.
  • ON THE WEEKENDS, MIKE PENCE MAKES EXTRA MONEY AS A SEARS
  • MANNEQUIN.
  • >> Jon: WHAT HAPPENED TO ROEBUCK?
  • >> Stephen: LOOKS GOOD.
  • AND WHEN YOU GO FROM GENERIC REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES TO
  • SPECIFIC ONES, THINGS LOOK EVEN WORSE.
  • TAKE NEW HAMPSHIRE CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE AND WHITE COLLAR FRED
  • FLINTSTONE, STEVE NEGRON.
  • NEGRON VOTED IN THE STATE LEGISLATURE AGAINST A BILL THAT
  • WOULD HAVE BANNED GAY CONVERSION THERAPY AND DEFENDED HIS VOTE
  • THIS WAY: >> I DID NOT VOTE FOR THAT.
  • YOU KNOW, I BELIEVE THAT'S SOMETHING THAT, WHEN YOU LOOK AT
  • THESE YOUNG CHILDREN THAT ARE TRYING TO MAKE A DECISION-- AND
  • I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS 15-16, I WAS CONFUSED.
  • I, YOU KNOW, HAD A LOT OF OPTIONS IN MY LIFE.
  • >> Stephen: YEAH, HE HAD A LOT OF OPTIONS: HE COULD HAVE BEEN
  • GAY, COULD HAVE BEEN STRAIGHT-- BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, HE CHOSE
  • (BLEEP).
  • THE G.O.P. ALSO INCLUDES SOME PRETTY INTOLERANT INCUMBENTS,
  • LIKE NEW JERSEY REP AND CINDERBLOCK AMERICAN, CHRIS
  • SMITH.
  • SMITH WAS ADDRESSING HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS, WHEN ONE OF THEM ASKED
  • HIM A QUESTION ABOUT HER GAY SISTER:
  • >> SHE TALKS ABOUT, LIKE, WANTING TO ADOPT A CHILD ONE DAY
  • WITH HER PARTNER.
  • AND I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU THINK THAT, BASED ON HOUSEHOLD
  • STUDIES, SHE WOULD BE LESS OF A LEGITIMATE PARENT, AND WHY SHE
  • COULDN'T HAVE-- TO ADOPT A CHILD?
  • >> WELL, YOU KNOW, IN MY OPINION, A CHILD NEEDS EVERY
  • POSSIBILITY OF-- YOU KNOW YOU MENTIONED-- SOMEBODY MENTIONED
  • ORPHANAGES BEFORE.
  • I MEAN, ORPHANAGES ARE STILL A POSSIBILITY FOR SOME KIDS,
  • BUT UM...
  • >> Stephen: BUT, UHM, UHM, THERE'S ALSO WORKHOUSES.
  • THEY COULD JOIN A GANG OF STREET URCHINS.
  • THEY COULD BE RAISED BY WOLVES.
  • AS LONG AS THE WOLVES AREN'T GAY.
  • THAT WOULD BE FINE WITH ME."

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Description

On this edition of Stormy Watch, Fox News personality (or lack thereof) Tucker Carlson weighs in with his thoughts on porn.

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