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Video Porn Wars: Tucker Carlson Vs. Michael Avenatti

TheTV.info

Transcription

  • WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW, I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
  • FIRST OF ALL,--( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
  • THANK YOU!
  • I FEEL THE SAME WAY!
  • HAPPY FRIDAY, EVERYBODY!
  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ARE YOU ALL-- ARE YOU ALL HAVING
  • A GOOD FRIDAY?
  • ( CHEERS ) YOU ARE ALL LIARS!
  • ( LAUGHTER ) I'M GOING TO LET YOU INSIDE THE
  • TELEVISION MAGIC HERE: WE PRE-TAPED ALL OF THIS ON
  • THURSDAY.
  • AND I JUST THREW THESE PEOPLE UNDER THE BUS FOR A SPECIFIC
  • REASON.
  • I ONLY BRING IT UP, BECAUSE HURRICANE FLORENCE IS PREDICTED
  • TO MAKE LANDFALL ON FRIDAY.
  • SO AS WE TAPE THIS, WE DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT DAMAGE IT'S
  • DONE, BUT WE CERTAINLY HOPE EVERYBODY IS SAFE.
  • OF COURSE, PRESIDENT TRUMP IS STILL DEALING WITH ANOTHER
  • STORM, WHICH BRINGS US TO TONIGHT'S "STORMY WATCH."
  • ♪ ♪ ♪ STORMY AND HER LAWYER, MICHAEL
  • AVENATTI, WENT ON "THE VIEW" THIS WEEK.
  • AND SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T HAPPY ABOUT THAT, LIKE FOX NEWS
  • PERSONALITY TUCKER CARLSON, SEEN HERE WATCHING HIS OWN SHOW.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
  • AND WHAT I CAN ONLY DESCRIBE AS TUCKER'S MOUTH MADE WORD AT
  • AVENATTI AND STORMY.
  • >> THEY GAVE THREE SEGMENTS OF THEIR SHOW TO A NEWLY MINTED
  • POLITICAL PUNDIT WHO HAS SPENT HER CAREER HAVING SEX WITH
  • STRANGERS FOR MONEY.
  • ALONG FOR THE RIDE WAS HER CREEPY PORN LAWYER.
  • >> Stephen: I WOULDN'T THROW AROUND THE WORD "CREEPY" IF I
  • LOOKED LIKE FANCY LAD WHO PAID HIS WET NURSE TO SIT ON HIS LAP.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
  • NOW, AVENATTI FIRED BACK, TWEETING TUCKER'S FULL NAME,
  • "TUCKER SWANSON McNEAR CARLSON, DO YOU TRULY EXPECT PEOPLE TO
  • BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE NEVER VIEWED PORN?
  • WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU VIEWED PORN?
  • YOU DEMEAN MY CLIENT AND ME BECAUSE OF HER PROFESSION,
  • WHILE YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE HYPOCRITE.
  • NOBODY LIKES A HYPOCRITE."
  • THAT IS A LOW BLOW, AVENATTI.
  • YOU LEAVE TUCKER ALONE.
  • YOU THINK HE LIKES BEING A HYPOCRITE?
  • ( LAUGHTER ) NO, BUT IT'S PART OF HIS JOB.
  • YES, OVER THE YEARS, TUCKER HAS DEBASED HIMSELF.
  • HE HAS DEGRADED HIS REPUTATION BY SAYING DISGUSTING THINGS WITH
  • HIS MOUTH, ALL IN FRONT A CAMERA FOR THE CHEAP THRILLS OF AN
  • AUDIENCE OF OLD MEN, JUST FOR A FEW DOLLARS, BUT HE NEEDED THE
  • MONEY.
  • ALL I'M SAYING IS BEING TUCKER CARLSON IS A LEGITIMATE
  • PROFESSION.
  • YOU JUST SHUDDER TO THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN GROWING UP TO DO
  • IT.
  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HE'S SOMEBODY'S LITTLE BOY!
  • HE'S SOMEBODY'S LITTLE BOY!
  • ( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE-- BOY, I GOT OVER THAT
  • EMOTIONAL MOMENT QUICKLY.
  • MEANWHILE, WE'RE LESS THAN TWO MONTHS AWAY FROM THE MIDTERMS,
  • WHEN MILLIONS OF AMERICANS WILL HEAD TO THE POLLS TO VOTE
  • AGAINST A MAN WHO IS NOT ON THE BALLOT.
  • AT STAKE IS CONTROL OF THE CONGRESS.
  • THE SENATE'S A LONG-SHOT FOR THE DEMOCRATS, BUT IT'S A DIFFERENT
  • STORY IN THE HOUSE, WHERE THE LATEST POLLS FIND THAT DEMOCRATS
  • HAVE A 14-POINT LEAD OVER REPUBLICANS.
  • VOTERS--( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
  • UH-HUH.
  • YOU FORGOT WHAT HAPPENED TWO YEARS AGO?
  • OKAY.
  • VOTERS WERE ASKED WHETHER THEY SUPPORT A GENERIC REPUBLICAN OR
  • A GENERIC DEMOCRAT.
  • THOUGH, REALLY, ALL THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES ARE PRETTY
  • GENERIC.
  • ON THE WEEKENDS, MIKE PENCE MAKES EXTRA MONEY AS A SEARS
  • MANNEQUIN.
  • >> Jon: WHAT HAPPENED TO ROEBUCK?
  • >> Stephen: LOOKS GOOD.
  • AND WHEN YOU GO FROM GENERIC REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES TO
  • SPECIFIC ONES, THINGS LOOK EVEN WORSE.
  • TAKE NEW HAMPSHIRE CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE AND WHITE COLLAR FRED
  • FLINTSTONE, STEVE NEGRON.
  • NEGRON VOTED IN THE STATE LEGISLATURE AGAINST A BILL THAT
  • WOULD HAVE BANNED GAY CONVERSION THERAPY AND DEFENDED HIS VOTE
  • THIS WAY: >> I DID NOT VOTE FOR THAT.
  • YOU KNOW, I BELIEVE THAT'S SOMETHING THAT, WHEN YOU LOOK AT
  • THESE YOUNG CHILDREN THAT ARE TRYING TO MAKE A DECISION-- AND
  • I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS 15-16, I WAS CONFUSED.
  • I, YOU KNOW, HAD A LOT OF OPTIONS IN MY LIFE.
  • >> Stephen: YEAH, HE HAD A LOT OF OPTIONS: HE COULD HAVE BEEN
  • GAY, COULD HAVE BEEN STRAIGHT-- BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, HE CHOSE
  • (BLEEP).
  • THE G.O.P. ALSO INCLUDES SOME PRETTY INTOLERANT INCUMBENTS,
  • LIKE NEW JERSEY REP AND CINDERBLOCK AMERICAN, CHRIS
  • SMITH.
  • SMITH WAS ADDRESSING HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS, WHEN ONE OF THEM ASKED
  • HIM A QUESTION ABOUT HER GAY SISTER:
  • >> SHE TALKS ABOUT, LIKE, WANTING TO ADOPT A CHILD ONE DAY
  • WITH HER PARTNER.
  • AND I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU THINK THAT, BASED ON HOUSEHOLD
  • STUDIES, SHE WOULD BE LESS OF A LEGITIMATE PARENT, AND WHY SHE
  • COULDN'T HAVE-- TO ADOPT A CHILD?
  • >> WELL, YOU KNOW, IN MY OPINION, A CHILD NEEDS EVERY
  • POSSIBILITY OF-- YOU KNOW YOU MENTIONED-- SOMEBODY MENTIONED
  • ORPHANAGES BEFORE.
  • I MEAN, ORPHANAGES ARE STILL A POSSIBILITY FOR SOME KIDS,
  • BUT UM...
  • >> Stephen: BUT, UHM, UHM, THERE'S ALSO WORKHOUSES.
  • THEY COULD JOIN A GANG OF STREET URCHINS.
  • THEY COULD BE RAISED BY WOLVES.
  • AS LONG AS THE WOLVES AREN'T GAY.
  • THAT WOULD BE FINE WITH ME."

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Description

On this edition of Stormy Watch, Fox News personality (or lack thereof) Tucker Carlson weighs in with his thoughts on porn.

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---
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

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