Download subtitle and video from Youtube

Quicky way to download subtitle and video from Youtube: go to https://thetv.info/[youtube-id]
E.g. Change https://youtu.be/6I2BnX32qNQ to https://thetv.info/6I2BnX32qNQ

Video Trump Just Wants To Be On Primetime TV

TheTV.info

Transcription

  • WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW.
  • I'M STEPHEN COLBERT.
  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
  • THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
  • LET'S HEAR IT FOR MY WARM UP ACT TONIGHT, DONALD TRUMP.
  • ( APPLAUSE ) AMERICA'S FAVORITE FUNNYMAN
  • ADDRESSED THE NATION ON ALL THE BROADCAST AND CABLE NEWS
  • NETWORKS, EXPLAINING WHY HE SHUT DOWN THE GOVERNMENT FOR HIS
  • BORDER WALL.
  • SO, BY THE TIME THAT THIS IS BROADCAST, WE'RE EITHER IN A
  • BRAND-NEW STATE OF EMERGENCY, OR THE SAME ONE WE'VE BEEN IN SINCE
  • NOVEMBER OF 2016.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
  • WAS THIS A FIRST?
  • IT WAS TRUMP'S FIRST PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS FROM THE
  • OVAL OFFICE.
  • THAT FEELS -- WEIRD.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) ONE OF THE REASONS I WAS SO
  • SHAKEN ON ELECTION NIGHT IS THAT I FORESAW THINGS LIKE THIS
  • COMING.
  • YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE WHEN YOUR COUSIN'S STAYING WITH YOU AND HE
  • BRINGS HIS DOG, YOU IMMEDIATELY IMAGINE IT POOPING ON YOUR RUG.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) AND EVENTUALLY, IT DOES.
  • NOW, NORMALLY, PRIME TIME PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESSES ARE FOR
  • IMPORTANT STUFF LIKE EISENHOWER EXPLAINING WHY HE'S SENDING
  • TROOPS TO DESEGREGATE THE SCHOOLS, OR OBAMA DECLARING THE
  • END OF COMBAT OPERATIONS IN IRAQ, OR BILL CLINTON
  • ANNOUNCING -- (AS CLINTON)
  • "HEY, AMERICA, I GOT SOME ACTION.
  • I'M SO SORRY.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) "SO SORRY."
  • TRUMP'S ADDRESS PRE-EMPTED OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED CBS
  • PROGRAMMING, "F.B.I."
  • NOT THE FIRST TIME HE'S INTERFERED WITH AN F.B.I.
  • INVESTIGATION.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF )
  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I THINK.
  • I THINK.
  • RIGHT?
  • I THINK TRUMP GAVE THAT SPEECH BECAUSE HE MISSES BEING ON
  • PRIMETIME TELEVISION.
  • NEXT IT'S GONNA BE -- (AS TRUMP)
  • "HELLO, 'SHARK TANK,' I AM ASKING FOR $5.7 BILLION DOLLARS
  • FOR A BORDER WALL.
  • OKAY.
  • I HAVE SOLD ZERO UNITS, AND ALSO I AM VERY AFRAID OF SHARKS."
  • >> FOR THAT REASON, I'M OUT.
  • OKAY.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> STEPHEN: NOW, WE TAPE THIS
  • SHOW AT 5:30, SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY REACTION TO THE SPEECH
  • WILL HAVE BEEN, SO I'M JUST GOING TO COVER MY BASES.
  • IT'S EITHER CONGRATULATIONS, MR PRESIDENT.
  • GLAD YOU INTERRUPTED OUR LIVES SO YOU COULD READ YOUR TWEETS
  • OUT LOUD.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) OR, MY GOD, HE JUST CONFESSED TO
  • EVERYTHING -- RUSSIA, OBSTRUCTION, HIS DAD
  • SHOT WARREN G. HARDING!
  • I CAN'T BELIEVE HE HANDED OVER THE PRESIDENCY TO MICHELLE OBAMA
  • AND THEN GOT INTO THE BACK OF A PADDY WAGON, SCREAMING "I'M THE
  • REAL CHRISTMAS QUEEN!" ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
  • ONE OF THOSE PROBABLY WON'T HAPPEN.
  • >> Jon: YEAH.
  • >> Stephen: TRUMP FACES AN UPHILL BATTLE SELLING HIS
  • VERSION OF THE SHUTDOWN BECAUSE POLLS SAY TRUMP IS
  • BLAMED FOR THE SHUTDOWN BY 51% VERSUS ONLY 32% WHO BLAME
  • DEMOCRATS.
  • HUH.
  • I WONDER WHERE THEY GOT THAT IDEA?
  • >> I AM PROUD TO SHUT DOWN THE GOVERNMENT FOR BORDER SECURITY
  • CHUCK.
  • SO, I WILL TAKE THE MANTLE.
  • I WILL BE THE ONE TO SHUT IT DOWN.
  • I'M NOT GONNA BLAME YOU FOR IT.
  • THE LAST TIME YOU SHUT IT DOWN IT DIDN'T WORK.
  • I WILL TAKE THE MANTLE OF SHUTTING DOWN.
  • >> STEPHEN: OOH, FOILED AGAIN BY TRUMP'S ARCH-NEMESIS -- HIS
  • MOUTH.
  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, MOUTH!
  • AS I SAID, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TRUMP SAID IN HIS SPEECH
  • TONIGHT, BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE WORRIED THAT HE'D DECLARE A
  • NATIONAL EMERGENCY, WHICH WOULD ALLOW HIM TO CONSTRUCT A BORDER
  • WALL WITHOUT CONGRESSIONAL APPROVAL.
  • AND THAT'S RIGHT UP TRUMP'S ALLEY.
  • REMEMBER, HE GOT ELECTED WITHOUT THE VOTERS' APPROVAL.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THE NATIONAL
  • EMERGENCIES ACT, WHICH WAS SIGNED INTO LAW BY PRESIDENT
  • GERALD FORD BACK IN 1976.
  • AT THE TIME, FORD NEEDED THE EMERGENCY POWERS TO RESPOND TO
  • AN EPIDEMIC OF DISCO FEVER.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) SO SAD.
  • SO TRAGIC.
  • WE LOST A LOT OF GOOD MEN.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) NOW, HERE'S THE THING -- THE
  • ESSENTIALLY ALLOWS TRUMP TO PRONOUNCE A NATIONAL EMERGENCY
  • ON A WHIM.
  • CLARIFYING WHAT THE FOUNDERS LAID OUT IN THE CONSTITUTION --
  • "SHOULD THERE ARISE A NATIONAL EMERGENCY, POWER SHALL BE VESTED
  • IN THE PRESIDENT TO DO WHATEVS."
  • ( LAUGHTER ) UNFORTUNATELY, THE ACT OFFERS NO
  • DEFINITION OF "EMERGENCY."
  • WE'RE IN WHAT LEGAL SCHOLARS CALL AN "'AIR BUD' SCENARIO."
  • "AIN'T NOTHIN' IN THE RULEBOOK THAT SAYS A GOLDEN RETRIEVER
  • CAN'T DECLARE MARTIAL LAW!" ( LAUGHTER )
  • ( APPLAUSE ) ONE OF THE STRANGEST POWERS THE
  • PRESIDENT GETS DURING A NATIONAL EMERGENCY ALLOWS HIM OR HER TO
  • SUSPEND THE LAW THAT BARS GOVERNMENT TESTING OF BIOLOGICAL
  • AND CHEMICAL AGENTS ON UNWITTING HUMAN SUBJECTS.
  • THEY CLEARLY ALREADY STARTED ON STEPHEN MILLER.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) YOU MONSTERS!
  • HE'S A HUMAN BEING!
  • OR HE WAS.
  • IF THIS SOUNDS HYSTERICAL AND CRAZY, REMEMBER -- IN THE PAST,
  • WE'VE RELIED ON PRESIDENTS TO USE SELF-DISCIPLINE WHEN IT
  • COMES TO EMERGENCY POWERS.
  • AND, SURE, LINCOLN WAS ABLE TO RESTRAIN HIMSELF, BUT LINCOLN
  • ALSO KNEW HOW TO CLOSE AN UMBRELLA.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) BUT TRUMP IS GOING TO HAVE A
  • HARD TIME CLAIMING THAT THERE'S A NATIONAL IMMIGRATION
  • EMERGENCY BECAUSE, UNDER HIS PRESIDENCY, ILLEGAL CROSSINGS
  • HAVE HIT A 20 YEAR LOW.
  • AS REPUBLICAN POLITICAL CONSULTANT STUART STEVENS PUT
  • IT, "THERE ARE NUMEROUS EXAMPLES OF PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESSES MADE
  • TO CALM A FRIGHTENED PUBLIC.
  • THIS WILL BE THE FIRST TO FRIGHTEN A CALM PUBLIC."
  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
  • THAT'S NICE.
  • AND TO START STOKING THE FEAR, THEY EVEN PULLED MIKE PENCE AWAY
  • FROM HIS MEAL OF TAP WATER AND HARD-BOILED TOAST TO PREVIEW
  • TRUMP'S SPEECH ON EVERY CHANNEL --
  • >> HE'LL TALK ABOUT THE 17,000 PEOPLE WITH CRIMINAL RECORDS
  • THAT WE'VE APPREHENDED AT OUR BORDER.
  • LAST YEAR ALONE, 17,000 INDIVIDUALS WITH CRIMINAL
  • HISTORIES WERE APPREHENDED AT OUR SOUTHERN BORDER.
  • THE APPREHENSION IN THE LAST YEAR OF 17,000 INDIVIDUALS AT
  • OUR SOUTHERN BORDER WITH PREVIOUS CRIMINAL HISTORIES.
  • >> STEPHEN: 17,000 PEOPLE WITH CRIMINAL HISTORIES?
  • WOW.
  • ALMOST AS MANY AS THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
  • YEAH.
  • YEAH.
  • AND, YEAH, BUT NO.
  • SEE, THAT 17,000 COUNTS EVERYONE WHO WAS STOPPED BORDER PATROL AT
  • EVERY POSSIBLE U.S. POINT OF ENTRY AND TURNED AWAY.
  • FOR ANY REASON.
  • IN FACT, AT ALL BORDERS, EVERYWHERE, 360,000 INDIVIDUALS
  • WERE APPREHENDED BY BORDER PATROL.
  • OF THOSE, ONLY 6,200 WERE FOUND TO HAVE CRIMINAL CONVICTIONS.
  • AND, OF THAT, 13%-- OR 800 PEOPLE-- HAVE RECORDS OF
  • VIOLENCE OR CONVICTIONS FOR SEXUAL OR FIREARMS OFFENSES.
  • THAT'S A RATIO OF 1 TO 450.
  • BY CONTRAST, ONE IN 12 ADULT AMERICAN CITIZENS HAS A FELONY
  • CONVICTION.
  • ONE IN TWELVE.
  • THAT MEANS 33 PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM ARE CRIMINALS.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) JOE?
  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF )
  • EXPLAINS THE BLACK HAT.
  • AND THAT'S NOT ALL.
  • OF THE PEOPLE WITH CRIMINAL RECORDS THAT CROSSED THE BORDER,
  • ALMOST HALF OF THEM WERE CONVICTED FOR ILLEGALLY ENTERING
  • OR REENTERING THE UNITED STATES.
  • GOT IT, SO HALF THE CRIMINALS TRYING TO CROSS THE BORDER ARE
  • ONLY CRIMINALS FOR TRYING TO CROSS THE BORDER.
  • IT'S A REAL CATCH-22.
  • IN THAT THEY SAID THEY CAUGHT 17,000 BUT IT WAS MORE LIKE 22.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) BUT MIKE PENCE WASN'T THE ONLY
  • ONE MAKING UP A BIG SCARY NUMBER.
  • HERE'S SARAH HUCKASANDS ON FOX NEWS SUNDAY.
  • >> WE KNOW THAT ROUGHLY, NEARLY 4,000 KNOWN OR SUSPECTED
  • TERRORISTS COME INTO OUR COUNTRY ILLEGALLY, AND WE KNOW THAT OUR
  • MOST VULNERABLE POINT OF ENTRY IS AT OUR SOUTHERN BORDER.
  • >> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT-- I KNOW THE STATISTIC, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
  • WERE GOING TO USE IT.
  • BUT I STUDIED UP ON THIS.
  • DO YOU KNOW WHERE THOSE 4,000 PEOPLE COME-- WHERE THEY'RE
  • CAPTURED?
  • AIRPORTS.
  • >> NOT ALWAYS.
  • >> AT AIRPORTS.
  • >> CERTAINLY A LARGE NUMBER-- >> THE STATE DEPARTMENT SAYS
  • THERE HASN'T BEEN ANY TERRORISTS THAT THEY'VE FOUND COMING ACROSS
  • THE SOUTHERN BORDER WITH MEXICO.
  • >> IT'S BY AIR, IT'S BY LAND AND IT'S BY SEA.
  • IT'S ALL OF THE ABOVE.
  • >> STEPHEN: YEAH, THEY'RE COMIN' BY AIR, LAND, SEA, OUTER SPACE.
  • HELL, THE SKRULLS CAN DISGUISE THEMSELVES AS ANYTHING.
  • EVEN OLD LADIES!
  • BUT CAPTAIN MARVEL'S HERE TO KICK SOME ASS.
  • AND LOOK HOW YOUNG SAM JACKSON IS!
  • WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT ( LAUGHTER )
  • RIGHT.
  • RIGHT, NATIONAL EMERGENCY.
  • ANYWAY, SO THESE TERRORISTS ARE NOT COMING THROUGH THE SOUTHERN
  • BORDER.
  • AND THEY ALSO MIGHT NOT BE TERRORISTS.
  • TURNS OUT ONLY SIX MIGRANTS-- NOT SANDERS' CLAIM OF 4,000-- ON
  • THE TERROR WATCH LIST WERE DETAINED.
  • YES, SIX.
  • ROUGHLY ONE BOY BAND OF TERRORISTS.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) BUT REMEMBER, ONE OF THEM IS THE
  • BAD BOY.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF )
  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( SINGING )
  • WITH SO MANY FALSE STATEMENTS COMING OUT OF THE TRUMP
  • ADMINISTRATION, FOLKS HAVE NOT BEEN EXPECTING TONIGHT'S SPEECH
  • TO CONTAIN A LOT OF TRUTH.
  • IN FACT, A EUROPEAN GAMBLING SITE WAS TAKING BETS ABOUT HOW
  • MANY FALSE STATEMENTS WILL PRESIDENT TRUMP MAKE DURING
  • TUESDAY NIGHT'S TELEVISED ADDRESS?
  • THE OVER UNDER IS AT 3.5 TAKE THE OVER!
  • ( LAUGHTER ) "GOOD EVENING."
  • (BUZZER) "MY FELLOW AMERICANS."
  • (BUZZER) ( LAUGHTER )
  • OF COURSE, IT MIGHT BE JUST ONE CONSTANT LIE BECAUSE THIS
  • AFTERNOON TRUMP SAID THAT HE IS WRITING THE SPEECH HIMSELF.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) NO, I BELIEVE HIM.
  • I BELIEVE HIM PAUSE CBS HAS OBTAINED AN ADVANCE COPY OF THE
  • SPEECH -- "MEXICANS BAD.
  • WALL GOOD.
  • LIE."
  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
  • TONIGHT.
  • KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY IS HERE.
  • BUT WHEN WE RETURN, BEER.
  • STICK AROUND!

Download subtitle

Description

Regularly scheduled programming gets interrupted by irregularly spoken exaggerating.

Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel HERE: http://bit.ly/ColbertYouTube
For more content from "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert", click HERE: http://bit.ly/1AKISnR
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show" HERE: http://bit.ly/1Puei40
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook HERE: http://on.fb.me/1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter HERE: http://bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Google+ HERE: http://bit.ly/1JlGgzw
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram HERE: http://bit.ly/29wfREj
Follow "The Late Show" on Tumblr HERE: http://bit.ly/29DVvtR

Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.

Get the CBS app for iPhone & iPad! Click HERE: http://bit.ly/12rLxge

Get new episodes of shows you love across devices the next day, stream live TV, and watch full seasons of CBS fan favorites anytime, anywhere with CBS All Access. Try it free! http://bit.ly/1OQA29B

---
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

HighResolutionMusic.com - Download Hi-Res Songs

1 Ariana Grande

7 Rings flac

Ariana Grande. 2019. Writer: Ariana Grande;Richard Rodgers;TBHits;Njomza;Michael "Mikey" Foster;Kaydence;Tayla Parx;Scootie;Oscar Hammerstein II;Victoria Monét.
2 Alan Walker

Lily flac

Alan Walker. 2018. Writer: Alan Walker;Lars Kristian Rosness;Magnus Bertelsen;K-391;Didrik Handlykken;Marcus Arnbekk.
3 Alec Benjamin

Let Me Down Slowly flac

Alec Benjamin. 2019. Writer: Alec Benjamin;Sir Nolan;Michael Pollack.
4 Skylar Grey

Everything I Need flac

Skylar Grey. 2018. Writer: Elliott Taylor;Rupert Gregson-Williams;Skylar Grey.
5 Alan Walker

Lost Control flac

Alan Walker. 2018. Writer: Alan Walker;Thomas Troelsen;Mood Melodies;Sorana;Fredrik Borch Olsen;Magnus "Magnify" Martinsen.
6 Post Malone

Sunflower flac

Post Malone. 2018. Writer: Carl Rosen;Louis Bell;Billy Walsh;Carter Lang;Swae Lee;Post Malone.
7 Westlife

Hello My Love flac

Westlife. 2019. Writer: Steve Mac;Ed Sheeran.
8 Alan Walker

Different World flac

Alan Walker. 2018. Writer: Shy Nodi;Alan Walker;Fredrik Borch Olsen;James Njie;Marcus Arnbekk;Gunnar Greve Pettersen;K-391;Corsak;Shy Martin;Magnus Bertelsen.
9 Conor Maynard

Way Back Home (Sam Feldt Edit) flac

Conor Maynard. 2018. Writer: Ji Hye Lee;Shaun.
10 Sam Smith

Fire On Fire flac

Sam Smith. 2018. Writer: Steve Mac;Sam Smith.
11 Normani

Dancing With A Stranger flac

Normani. 2019. Writer: Mikkel S. Eriksen;Tor Hermansen;Jimmy Napes;Normani;Sam Smith.
12 The Chainsmokers

Hope flac

The Chainsmokers. 2018. Writer: Kate Morgan;Chris Lyon;Alex Pall;Andrew Taggart.
13 Skrillex

Face My Fears flac

Skrillex. 2019. Writer: Poo Bear;Skrillex;Utada Hikaru.
14 Imagine Dragons

Believer flac

Imagine Dragons. 2019. Writer: Dan Reynolds;Lil Wayne;Wayne Sermon;Ben McKee;Daniel Platzman;Robin Fredriksson;Mattias Larsson;Justin Tranter.
15 Slushii

Never Let You Go flac

Slushii. 2019. Writer: Sofía Reyes;Slushii;Aviella Winder.
16 Alan Walker

I Don't Wanna Go flac

Alan Walker. 2018.
17 Mike Perry

Runaway flac

Mike Perry. 2019. Writer: Andreas Wiman;Dimitri Vangelis;Richard Müller;Sasha Rangas;Stefan Van Leijsen;Mike Perry.
18 Gesaffelstein

Lost In The Fire flac

Gesaffelstein. 2019. Writer: Ahmad Balshe;Nate Donmoyer;Gesaffelstein;DaHeala;The Weeknd.
19 Alora & Senii

Love U So flac

Alora & Senii. 2019. Writer: Alora & Senii.
20 Hozier

Almost (Sweet Music) flac

Hozier. 2019. Writer: Hozier.

Popular this week

Related videos

TheTV in 90 countries


Categories