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Video Vợ Ơi Anh Muốn Có Chồng - Trường Giang ft Hoài Linh ft Nam Thư

TheTV.info
22:21   |   19M+ views   |   today at 13:22

Transcription

  • Honey! Come in! We got home!
  • You live here?
  • Yes.
  • Yes.
  • Here’s my house.
  • Where are other people?
  • Maybe my father’s somewhere in the backyard.
  • Listen to me…
  • Is it OK? There may be something wrong…
  • What’s wrong? Nothing wrong!
  • He isn’t with us, I think. If he finds out, we’re dead meat.
  • I told you, my father’s quite easy-going. We make it clear later. Everything will be OK.
  • I know how he is. Being easy or not depends on the case.
  • He may be tough, then turn easy.
  • If our affair is disclosed, we’ll die. It’s no laughing matter!
  • What you promised me in Sai Gon is different from what you’re saying now!
  • The words I said is one thing but the action we should take is another story. It’s no simple matter!
  • Oh god! You must do what you said, right?
  • Relax! No big deal. My father is pleasant. Ok?
  • Alright! Now we have to accept it. There’s nothing we can do but tell him the truth.
  • You think as if I didn’t worry. What if my father doesn’t approve our business? I don’t know what to do.
  • Dad! Dad! I’m just back home!
  • Are you home?
  • Yes...
  • Who is this?
  • Well, I’m Thắm’s boyfriend.
  • I bow in deep respect from an angle of 190 degree to greet you with my honor and…
  • Do I need to return your bow?
  • Well, well…
  • Is this your boyfriend?
  • Yes.
  • Is this the model guy that you told me on the phone? Why is he as short as a larva from the coconut tree?
  • I’m a …children model.
  • Really? Well, it’s OK.
  • Please sit down.
  • Ok. This is my house! Take a seat.
  • We are welcoming! Country people are always like this!
  • We love each other.
  • Yes, we do.
  • Stay away from the ancestral altar if you want to be lovey-dovey!
  • Listen to me!
  • Yes?
  • You’re here now, so call me dad! Don’t call me uncle!
  • Well, it’s too fast!
  • No problem. Stay here, I’ll feast you with the local specialties.
  • Yes.
  • Well, what a lovely face! He’s soon my son-in-law.
  • Dad…dad…
  • See? I told you! My father is cool with us.
  • Is he?
  • Sure! You see, he was cool with you right when he met you. He also asked you to call him dad!
  • Because he has not known yet!
  • If he knows we’ll be dead for sure!
  • Hey, remember our deal?
  • Give it a break! Don’t say anything about our deal.
  • Oh God, poor me! That’s what close friends are supposed to do, helping each other.
  • You really ignore me dying without stepping in?
  • In this day and age, it’s every man for himself!
  • Oh my god!
  • He’s not noticed this yet. If he does, I’ll be evited! There’s strong prejudice against gays in the countryside!
  • Listen to me, girl!
  • They behave as if gays would take all their properties. Gays are human too!
  • You girl!
  • ID cards with gender stated as “gay” will soon be available. It’s true!
  • Girl, come here. You gotta act like a straight guy until the end of the play. Got it?
  • I can’t do that anymore!
  • Oh my god!
  • Everything has its limit. Đàm Vĩnh Hưng also said, “Everything in life has the same limit”.
  • Just to remind you. Whatever happens, in front of my father you…
  • Got it! You are an angel!
  • That’s right!
  • What’s wrong? Why are you scrapping? You’ve not got married yet, so don’t make such a din.
  • Dad…
  • You don’t need to act as a model here. Loosen up!
  • Well, we’re in love. Hug…
  • I see! Stay away from your ancestors.
  • Look, these cute larvae are alive and crawling.
  • Oops, what are these disgusting creatures?
  • Larvae from coconut trees.
  • Gee!
  • What are you gonna do with them?
  • To cook something for him.
  • I’m telling you. Just put them into a bowl of fish sauce while they’re still crawling, then eat. It tastes like heaven!
  • Stay here, I’ll go to prepare.
  • Well, how can he eat those strange creatures? Chewing them when they’re alive? Oh, gross!
  • Don’t be! They’re just larvae. Are they tiny, swarming larvae like this?
  • You’re making such a fuss! You even eat such big-size animals, why can these little things trouble you?
  • Really?
  • Let me be!
  • What do you want now? Please don’t leave me in the middle of the road!
  • I’ve heard enough. If I jump on the tiger’s back then I’ll I pluck off its hair to sell.
  • Poor me!
  • Hey, guys! Damn!...
  • Dad!
  • Listen to me…
  • What else, dad?
  • We love each other.
  • The altar! Oh, I forget.
  • He looks ready for being photographed? I’m telling you…
  • Yes?
  • You’re home. Your mother’s wish is that this girl has to get married before I pass away.
  • That’s right.
  • Today as you come home, I’m so happy, honestly.
  • Yes.
  • She hasn’t seen anyone for a long time. The other day, she informed that she already had a boyfriend and that makes me feel great.
  • We should have invited everyone to celebrate, but if they can’t make it and I’m cooking a meal…
  • Come here! Stop striking a pose.
  • Come here!
  • Yes.
  • Yes. What’s up?
  • These are couple rings.
  • Yup.
  • Stay.
  • Sell them in the market, shouldn’t we?
  • What’s up, dad?
  • Put a ring on each other’s finger, please!
  • For what?
  • Do it!
  • Do what the elderly asks!
  • Follow his request!
  • He’s too manly!
  • Yes. That's me.
  • No, Don’t do it yourself! She should do it for you.
  • Do as your dad says!
  • Well…
  • Shut up!
  • Yes… yes…
  • I like this guy!
  • It doesn’t fit, put on another finger!
  • I’ll change.
  • I can’t be with you to teach you everything all my life!
  • I’m sorry.
  • Give it to me!
  • Yes...
  • Your finger!
  • Great, guys!
  • Thank me now!
  • Thank you.
  • Come here...
  • Yes.
  • You’re never obedient. If that happens again, I’ll slap on your face!
  • Nonsense! Couples shouldn’t clap each other!
  • I’m a man, dad. We’re men, Uncle.
  • Men don’t always beat their wives! Come here.
  • We have to show our power! Well, what are you doing?
  • Let consider today your wedding day!
  • Happy?
  • Dad!
  • I deal with marriage-related business very rapidly. I don’t care about offers and ceremonials.
  • Dad, let me tell you…
  • Light incense for the ancestors!
  • Let’s do it later, dad. It’s hard for our ancestors to accept us in such a rush.
  • They’re always busy with nothing, so they’re willing to execute our requests.
  • Dad, marriage is an important matter to a girl.
  • Without celebration and attendance of relatives, how can we present ourselves before the ancestor?
  • You ceremonialist! Celebration is just a way of expression.
  • The point is to notify your ancestors. Did you get that?
  • It’s worth nothing that you hold a lavish wedding party then get divorced later!
  • I’ll pray first!
  • But…dad…
  • What a teenage style!
  • So, you do it.
  • Please do it first!
  • I’ll pray to my ancestors first.
  • Hold on. I’ll take a photo to upload to Facebook!
  • Really?
  • I bless this marriage to be done to fulfill the desire of people in the heaven as well as that of myself living in the world.
  • Today, I’m calling their two spirits…oh sorry,I mean I’m asking them here to present themselves before you.
  • If you love them, let them to live to a great age, otherwise, take them with you.
  • Dad, where will they take us?
  • Well, I just said that! Now if you like, pray to them! I made my pledge.
  • Well then? Do it, don’t you?
  • Yes, I do.
  • Well, no way to escape. Get in!
  • Pray then adjust what I’ve already said. Come! Turn your face around!
  • First bow to the heaven and earth.
  • Second bow to parents. Hey, your parents are over here!
  • Husband and wife bow to each other.
  • Damn, I’m gonna throw this glass at you both!
  • Husband and wife bow to each other.
  • What? You don’t want to see each other’s face? You want me to wish bad luck again?
  • Oh, honey.
  • I’m sorry.
  • Honey
  • My life’s over!
  • Put the incense sticks in! Listen to me, before your ancestors, both of you repeat after me.
  • “I swear to the Nguyễn family.” Say it!
  • “I swear…
  • to the Nguyễn family.”
  • Swearing with tears. I swear…
  • Too happy and too sentimental, but the girl should be more. Why do you overdo?
  • “I swear to the Nguyễn family.
  • If I break my vow…”
  • Keep going.
  • I’m gonna be trapped.
  • Say! What’s wrong?
  • “If I break my vow…
  • It’s done, dad.
  • Plague on me”. Say it!
  • “There will be a gloomy rain…”
  • "Plague on me”.
  • I just need you to swear, not my daughter. I trust her.
  • Oh my god!
  • Take a sit.
  • You..
  • Let me tell you…
  • What a tight ring! I can’t take it off…
  • Don’t take it off. Well, I’m gonna to talk about the altar first.
  • Uhm.
  • You know, this altar is quite magical!
  • Well.
  • Back then, her sister and another guy had loved each other for two years.
  • Uhm.
  • I also asked them to make the vow.
  • Uhm.
  • He promised, he swore.
  • Well..
  • The same like you did.
  • Yes.
  • Then they split after two months.
  • Well.
  • So, that guy died!
  • I pushed it back!
  • This ring is the one her mother bought.
  • Well.
  • To give as a dowry to the one who get married.
  • Previously, her brother’s wife…had already worn the ring. She promised to spend her whole life with him.
  • But she was in need of money to bet on the lottery and hence, sold the ring.
  • Oh my god!
  • You know, she was given the no. 46. After she bet, the result turned out to be 64. Dead!
  • Taking off that ring, she was gone!
  • Gone to reunite with the ancestors above!
  • This censer is used for them all.
  • Sometimes, every one or two years I had some in-laws. However, when they broke the vow, all went to the place on the altar!
  • Do you drink? Shall we drink to the bottom?
  • How about just a shot?
  • I can’t drink.
  • Come on, you can, man!
  • I’m not a man.
  • What sort of you?
  • Boy!
  • Let me ask you.Have you two had nookie? Let me know so that I can arrange.
  • No, I promise, I swear that I’ve never. Never, never!
  • What “ne”?
  • Never.
  • What’s “never”?
  • “Never” means not on any occasion.
  • OK. Drink.
  • Yes.
  • Never is good.
  • To be honest, I may be a countryside man, yet enjoy the Western lifestyle.
  • Since you’ve done praying, let’s get ready for nuptial intercourse!
  • Go, I’m here guarding.
  • Go, I’ve made the bed already.
  • There’s something beyond my reach.
  • No such thing. You’re man, aren’t you? I’m not worried about my daughter, but why do you hesitate?
  • I don’t think so. There’s something…should not be too fast.
  • You gave your words! This altar is incredible hallowed!
  • I know, but…
  • Otherwise, I pray a bit more. Do you want that? If I do, you’ll surely go up there.
  • Got it. We’re deeply in love.
  • Dad, listen. What’s the hell?
  • Well, this is a very important matter of my life. How come you demand us to have intercourse after just a shot of liquor?
  • Then, take one more! Well, I’m so easy, guys. One shot for excitement, then two…
  • Are we forced to make it?
  • Yes, you are.
  • Let me drink up and sleep.
  • You said you couldn’t? We’re all wrong. He can drink, see?
  • Don’t drink much. Stay sober to get to the place you should come to. Get that?
  • Ok, go!...
  • Go!...
  • Enter the room!
  • Oh my God! Be a man!
  • What?
  • Be a man!
  • Such skin-tight pants. Can I borrow your dress later?
  • Act manly!
  • Let’s go.
  • Go in.
  • Be manly!
  • No power left to act like a man at all.
  • Oh my god!
  • I’m too tipsy to pretend.
  • Oh my god, poor me!
  • Go!
  • We’re finished, dad!
  • What?
  • Done!
  • Is that guy a cock?
  • Get back there, I’ll do the timing! You have 45 minutes!
  • Sound and lighting are ready! You can’t do it in silence then say “done”!
  • If I hadn’t made it noisy and violently, how could I be the father of three? Full of experience!
  • Hey, how’s it going?
  • Undersexed!
  • You can’t criticize her for that. You are undersexed!
  • She’s sleeping.
  • Is she?
  • Yes. A genetic condition! Weak!
  • Damn genetic! How do you know I’m week! I was undersexed then I had my own three children? Drink!
  • More?
  • I’ll get the larvae. Let her sleep. We’ll enjoy them.
  • Wait here!
  • Hi! I’m on a business trip. What? Yes, to play the groom.
  • No, the groom photo model. No, I’m the groom model but will be your bride.
  • Yes, it’s hard as I’m the model. I’m in the countryside, a middle of nowhere!
  • I’m shooting with a weird old man!
  • He asked me to do things I couldn’t!
  • He was insane to make me behave like Bình Minh! As if he’s my grandfather? Over.
  • Curse enough?
  • What do you think? If it’s ok, then you do, if not, quit!
  • Get straight to the point! We’re men! What do you want? How much? How many guys do you want?
  • Listen, I’m telling you, guys like you are nobody!
  • What? Why crying? Men never cry! Are you fag? Just so you know, I’m a man.
  • Gonna hang up! Just kids…
  • Larvae!
  • Act like a girl though you’ve not undergone surgery in Thailand! Sit here.
  • Ok.
  • Sit here!
  • Yes, let me sit.
  • No need to act anymore. Who told you to do that?
  • She did. She told me that her father was strict.
  • He warned if she didn’t get married, she’d be kicked out of the house.
  • He wanted her to give birth though she didn’t want to. I couldn’t help her on this matter.
  • So she persuaded me to help her just for a day to present to her father then we’d return to Sài Gòn.
  • Nuptial intercourse is an expected incident. No can do!
  • Thắm! Thắm!
  • Yes, Dad!
  • Come here! What do you take your sister home for?
  • No! He’s a man. How on earth is my boyfriend a sissy?
  • Our secret’s out. I come out, too.
  • How dare you lie to your father!
  • You always urge me to have a boyfriend and keep saying it’s time for me to tie the knot and give birth.
  • But I’m so busy with my business in Sài Gòn so I don’t have time to date.
  • I’ll take my boyfriend home later but not now.
  • As you insist, I have to do it this way, hoping you won’t discover the truth.
  • But it turned out that you know him…
  • You think I’m a rustic? I could guess something from the sign of his fingers.
  • What did you guess?
  • I suspected you were a sort of popular film.
  • What film?
  • 3D movie!
  • Damn, you think you can fool your father, don’t you?
  • Just to help friends, help life.
  • Dad…
  • …but life is always harsh to me.
  • Please don’t chew him out, dad! It’s my fault. He’s my close friend, he has sympathy for me, so he helps me. It’s my fault.
  • How do you think I need a wife?
  • Listen to me. From now on you shouldn’t repeat this mistake.
  • Yes, I get it.
  • When you want to get married, just tell me.
  • Yup.
  • If you have no lover, just tell the truth.
  • Yup.
  • But I still wonder…
  • What?
  • She is pretty, isn’t she?
  • Yes.
  • But no one loves her!
  • That’s it!
  • Look at her, she and I are at the same beauty.
  • Forget it.
  • She’s more like her mother than me. I’ve not compared yet …
  • So…you’ve been all alone since your wife passed away?
  • Yes.
  • Oh my god…
  • So, the first time you showed up, I found out immediately.
  • You’re so great. I love great men like you.
  • I wish I had a man who can sacrifice everything for me so that I can love and depend on him.
  • I’m gonna slap on your face! I’m not your type.
  • Are you trying piloting the plane? Just so you know, this plane’s wings have been broken!
  • I mean…I like your body build, just that slender! There’s no way I like you!
  • A slender man?
  • Thin, tall and gentle.
  • Let me find someone in the magazine for you.
  • Who?
  • A singer?
  • Which singer?
  • She now lives very far, in Hà Nội.
  • It’s ok. Who?
  • She’s very popular on the internet.
  • Who?
  • She is the one…
  • Who?
  • …who is also tall and thin.
  • Mỹ Linh!
  • Mỹ Linh is too womanly.
  • Mai Phương Thúy?
  • Mai Phương Thúy is a model…
  • So who?
  • A miss beauty.
  • Who?
  • I’ll search on the Internet and show you later.
  • Really?
  • Now let me tell you. Give me back the ring.
  • Yes.
  • This ring is much valuable.
  • Break the spell.
  • This one is very valuable. It is nowhere to be found.
  • Uhm.
  • Previously, some vendors carried baskets of rings to sell them here. Now they don’t.
  • Is it an imitation?
  • Do you really think I’d give him the real one? Why does a false guy get a real ring?
  • Listen.
  • What?
  • When will you get marriage to your boyfriend?
  • Be gentle, you girl. Don’t touch me anymore.
  • I’m not for free!
  • From now on, don’t repeat your mistake! Don’t help other people with such in appropriate way!
  • And you,don’t ask your friends for help this way to fool your father!
  • You won’t urge me on marriage, will you?
  • I won’t.
  • Oh, lucky me. How can I get married to a woman? Oh my god, I need a husband!
  • Got it! 3D! I’m going to cook a meal.
  • Boobs attack!...
  • Thanks Hoài Linh, Nam Thư and Trường Giang.

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Bạn đang xem tiểu phẩm hài "VỢ ƠI ANH MUỐN CÓ CHỒNG" với sự tham gia diễn suất của Trường Giang, Hoài Linh, Nam Thư trên POPS TV - Kênh giải trí hàng đầu Việt Nam.
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