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Video ROFL! Golden Buzzer Comedian Makes Judges Can't Stop LAUGHING! | Semi Final 5 | BGT 2017

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09:32   |   78M+ views   |   today at 11:10

Transcription

  • Comedian whose audition was a triumph! The audience gave him a standing ovation, and Amanda gave him a golden buzzer.
  • It's Daliso Chaponda!
  • (Cool music as Daliso enters)
  • I'm Daliso Chaponda. I'm 37. I am a malawian stand-up comedian, and I live in manchester
  • (Short loud trumpet-like noise)
  • So I started doing stand-up comedy in Canada. I was studying computer programming so I've come a quite sharp left turn.
  • I left Canada. I tried it in South Africa. I wasn't very good and then I moved to Manchester
  • (Music and Baby at the end of the music)
  • I travel all the time. I mean I've spent a lot of years of doing the circuit doing little clubs doing slightly bigger theaters
  • I would like to tour
  • Giant room screaming fans, and just always have an audience for my job. (Sassy snap) "Sometimes I think I don't appreciate myself!"
  • (Laughing, music enters and Amanda slaps golden buzzer)
  • When I got the golden buzzer... it was the last thing I expected
  • I was so happy. "You're bloody hilarious, and I really want you to win the entire series!"
  • Ever since Amanda has a golden buzzer
  • I've had those
  • 22 year old dreams come back into my head and think you can make it you'll be the next big thing you can make it
  • I've never won a competition. I think it's time that I won something. I really do!
  • It's my turn. I'm ready ready to
  • score the knockout punch
  • (Screaming)
  • (Laughing)
  • Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for that welcome and thank Amanda for pushing that buzzer
  • Ever since then my life has been bonkers
  • People approaching me on the road saying well done, but the most common question I get is you're from where is it Mollie Maui?
  • But it's malawi and if any of you don't know where that is it's where Madonna adopted all the babies from
  • (Laughing)
  • Thats us!
  • Ya you're jealous. I do miss my little brother
  • (Laughing)
  • (Clapping)
  • and Angelina took my sister, so...
  • Been in the uk a while, I was tricked into moving here!
  • I was tricked because I was watching television, and I saw an angry guy came on television,
  • He said, "Oh, all these immigrants. They take all the good jobs, All the good women". I was like "Wow. That's what I'm looking for!"
  • (Laughing and clapping)
  • But I know sometimes comedy-(Unknown jamble) It's hard to laugh sometimes... cause the news is full of depressing stuff!
  • But I think the thing is it's misleading because amazing things happen every day little acts of kindness, but they don't report it
  • They put it on page 10 they open with the doom and gloom
  • If a BBC news of the made of yours, you'd never go over. look. I'm not going to that depressing barbecue
  • Imma go hand out with Cartoon Network but
  • [this] is amazing time to be alive people say stuff like oh, I miss the good old days
  • [but] all these were terrible we've got amazing stuff. We've got Wi-Fi
  • We've got rights we can vote
  • I'm black, [two] [hundred] years ago this would have been an auction!
  • oh
  • We've come a long way. That's all I'm saying
  • But even with the doom and gloom the m- the Malawian press is a lot worse than your press here
  • I'll tell you like I get the first ever comedy show in Malawi, which isn't an accomplishment. I'm the only stand-up comedian, right?
  • and I called the local press said send a reporter the editor said ah
  • Why don't you?
  • write the review Yourself and
  • You give me some money. [I] will say we wrote it. I
  • Was disgusted by the total lack of integrity in the Malawian press, but wow that was the [best] review ever got?
  • seven stars the Genius the African Michael Mcintyre
  • [that's] crazy. I'm on television right now because my ex always thought I wasn't ambitious enough
  • She always used to be like you're a comedian come on be more ambitious. [I] said hey
  • I'm happy she said you're not happy. [I] said I think I'm happy she said no be more ambitious
  • [I] did not sign up for somebody who's going nowhere. I snapped
  • [I] told her look you knew I wasn't ambitious the day. We met of all the women in the bar. I approached you
  • Yeah, you're laughing. I'm single now
  • I'm looking for love. I'll admit. I'm looking for love. You know got to get that citizenship. You know
  • But it's hard to date on a budget I
  • Remember going for then and the woman made a lot more money [than] me which is in the problem [were] in the 21st century
  • But I was ashamed [I] remember the waiter came up assumed. I was going to pay
  • Put the bill in front of me. I had to go, huh,
  • I'll get the next one
  • I'm so pathetic watching her pay. I wanted so badly to be part of the transaction so [I] just took the change I
  • Don't understand the British. I saw a beautiful British woman looking at a mirror upset. I said what's going on
  • She said can't you see it's a fat mirror
  • What do you mean the mirror looks fat she said this mirror makes me look fatter than I am I said well
  • I think my eyes have the same problem
  • I
  • Was not mocking her don't be angry with me. It was a cultural
  • [misunderstanding] I'm from Africa. [it's] different when we see someone overweight. We don't think going to diet
  • We're more like where did you get the food?
  • I think we gonna follow her home, heh. Thank you ladies and gentlemen, it's been a pleasure.
  • Thank you!

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Daliso Chaponda Britain's Got Talent 2017 Semi Final Full Audition Including Judges Comment

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