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Video Key & Peele - High On Potenuse

TheTV.info
05:26   |   today at 12:58

Transcription

  • - THE RIGHT TRIANGLE'S LONGEST SIDE
  • IS CALLED THE HYPOTENUSE,
  • AND IT'S THIS SIDE HERE.
  • - HEY, I WISH I WERE HIGH ON POTENUSE.
  • - [giggles]
  • "I WISH I WAS HIGH ON POTENUSE."
  • [laughter]
  • - OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
  • OH, MR. MORRISON, IT'S VERY FUNNY.
  • IT'S VERY FUNNY, BUT LET'S GET BACK TO THE LESSON.
  • WE CAN SEE THE LONGEST ONE
  • WHERE IT GOES FROM THIS POINT--
  • - THAT WAS MY JOKE.
  • - I KNOW, MAN. THAT WAS HILARIOUS.
  • - TRIANGLE. I'VE LABELED THEM HERE
  • "A," "B," AND "C." - NO, BUT, I MEAN, I SAID THAT.
  • I SAID IT.
  • I SAID IT. I SAID THAT.
  • - PLEASE, PLEASE, MR. JACKSON, KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF.
  • THANK YOU.
  • NOW THE HYPOTENUSE-- [laughter]
  • MR. MORRISON, YOU REALLY GOT ME ON THAT ONE.
  • OH, SO GREAT.
  • OH, OH, PRINCIPAL MARTEL, PRINCIPAL MARTEL, COME HERE,
  • COME HERE, COME HERE.
  • TELL PRINCIPAL MARTEL WHAT YOU SAID, TROY.
  • - OH, SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE HYPOTENUSE,
  • AND I SAID, "I WISH I WAS HIGH ON POTENUSE."
  • [laughter]
  • I'M SORRY.
  • [laughter continues] HE LIKES IT.
  • PRINCIPAL MARTEL'S COOL.
  • - OH, THAT'S-- THAT'S VERY FUNNY.
  • - PRINCIPAL MARTEL, PRINCIPAL MARTEL, I SAID THAT.
  • - MR. JACKSON, THAT IS ENOUGH.
  • - BUT I SAID IT FIRST. - DUDE, COME ON.
  • - MR. IGLESIAS, MR. IGLESIAS,
  • YES, COME IN, COME IN.
  • - [gasps] - YEAH.
  • YES. WHAT'S UP, PEOPLES?
  • - FLUFFY. - COMEDIAN GABRIEL IGLESIAS
  • IS TOURING THE LOCAL SCHOOLS TODAY
  • FOR A CHARITY HE'S WORKING ON.
  • TELL HIM WHAT YOU SAID. TELL HIM WHAT YOU SAID.
  • - UH, I WISH I WAS HIGH ON POTENUSE.
  • [laughter]
  • - OH, MY GOD. THAT IS CLEVER.
  • THAT IS CLEVER. VERY FUNNY.
  • - NO. NO. - VERY FUNNY.
  • - RIGHT? THANKS, THANKS.
  • - MR. IGLESIAS, MR. IGLESIAS,
  • I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN.
  • THAT WAS MY JOKE.
  • - YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT REALLY COOL, BUDDY,
  • TO TAKE CREDIT FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S JOKES.
  • HEY, LISTEN, FUNNY STUFF.
  • I'M DOING THIS BIG TOUR RIGHT NOW.
  • YOU WANT TO SEE ABOUT MAYBE WE COULD TALK ABOUT YOU OPENING?
  • I NEED AN OPENER.
  • - UM, SURE.
  • - WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS THAT OKAY?
  • - OF COURSE. OF COURSE. - YEAH.
  • - [gasps] WHAT?
  • - SORRY ABOUT THAT. - TALENT, MAN.
  • - IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. THANKS SO MUCH.
  • - THAT'S LIKE A RICHARD PRYOR. GET OVER HERE, MAN.
  • COME ON. - RICHARD PRYOR.
  • - HE DESERVED IT.
  • ALL RIGHT, SO ACROSS FROM THE LONGEST SIDE
  • IS A 90-DEGREE ANGLE.
  • - GOOD THING I'VE GOT A 90-DEGREE DANGLE.
  • - JOEL, STOP IT! YOU WILL NEVER BE TROY!
  • - WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BE LIKE TROY?
  • DICK.
  • - ET TU, NERDY GIRL?
  • - [snickers]
  • - SO THE HYPOTENU-- [laughter]
  • - WHAT THE [bleep] IS GOING ON?
  • - I'M GONNA PISS MY PANTS.
  • I'M GONNA PISS MY PANTS RIGHT HERE.
  • OH, MY GOD! OH!
  • - GOOD EVENING, MY FELLOW AMERICANS.
  • EVERY DAY OUR CITIZENS IMPROVE THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND THEM.
  • TODAY WE HONOR TROY MORRISON.
  • NOW TROY WAS IN GEOMETRY CLASS
  • WHEN HIS TEACHER MENTIONED THE HYPOTENUSE OF A TRIANGLE.
  • TROY SAID, "I WISH I WAS HIGH ON POTENUSE."
  • THAT REALLY CRACKED ME UP,
  • AND IT CRACKED UP THE REST OF AMERICA TOO,
  • SO TODAY I'M PLEASED TO PRESENT TROY
  • WITH THE CONGRESSIONAL COMEDY MEDAL OF HONOR.
  • TROY, ON BEHALF OF THE ENTIRE COUNTRY,
  • I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU
  • FOR YOUR FANTASTIC, OFF-THE-CUFF LINE.
  • YOU ARE A TRUE COMEDY HERO.
  • - THANK YOU, SIR. THANK YOU.
  • AND ALSO, MR. PRESIDENT, I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
  • - WHAT'S THAT? OH! HE GOT ME ONE.
  • YES. THESE ARE SOLD OUT.
  • I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET MY HANDS ON ONE OF THESE.
  • THANKS, TROY. OH, MY GOD.

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Description

A student in math class tries to take back credit for a hilarious joke on the word "hypotenuse" after his friend steals it.

About Key & Peele:
Key & Peele showcases the fearless wit of stars Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele as the duo takes on everything from “Gremlins 2” to systemic racism. With an array of sketches as wide-reaching as they are cringingly accurate, the pair has created a bevy of classic characters, including Wendell, the players of the East/West Bowl and President Obama’s Anger Translator.

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