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Video Key & Peele - Gay Wedding Advice

TheTV.info
04:37   |   today at 13:26

Transcription

  • - WELCOME, JOHNSON FAMILY.
  • NOW, WE ALL KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE.
  • COUSIN DELROY'S GETTING MARRIED...
  • all: MM-HMM.
  • - TO A MAN.
  • WHICH IS CRAZY. - MM-HMM.
  • - AND WE'RE IN SUPPORT, AND, UH, WE JUST NEED A LITTLE HELP
  • WITH THE PARTICULARS OF A GAY WEDDING.
  • WHAT I'VE DONE IS I TOOK THE INITIATIVE
  • TO GET MY FRIEND GARY IN HERE,
  • WHO'S--I MEAN, HE'S NOT REALLY MY FRIEND.
  • HE'S A COWORKER OF MINE WHO HAPPENS
  • TO BE A ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNITY,
  • AND HE'S GONNA GIVE US SOME ADVICE ON,
  • YOU KNOW, WHA--WHAT TO DO.
  • SO, GARY, WHA--WHAT CAN-- WHAT CAN WE EXPECT?
  • - ALL RIGHT.
  • WELL, FIRST OF ALL, GUYS,
  • THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME HERE,
  • AND I THINK IT'S REALLY AMAZING
  • WHAT YOU GUYS ARE DOING FOR YOUR COUSIN DELROY.
  • REALLY, I JUST WANTED TO SAY, BASICALLY, THAT A GAY WEDDING
  • IS JUST LIKE A STRAIGHT WEDDING.
  • YES? YES, SIR.
  • - SO THEN DO THE MEN WEAR DRESSES AND THEN
  • THE WOMEN WOULD WEAR SUITS?
  • - NO. NO, NO, NO.
  • YOU WOULD JUST WHERE EXACTLY WHAT YOU WOULD WEAR
  • AT A--AT A STRAIGHT WEDDING.
  • - NOW, NONE OF US ARE GAY, SO I ASSUME
  • THAT WE WOULD ALL SIT THEN IN THE STRAIGHT SECTION.
  • - THE STRAIGHT SECTION? - YEAH.
  • - OH, THE STRAIGHT SECTION.
  • HE MEANS AS OPPOSED TO THE GAY SECTION.
  • - NO, NO, THERE'S--THERE'S-- THERE'S NO SECTIONS, GUYS.
  • - BUT THE GAY PEOPLE... - NO, NO, NO.
  • WHAT--YOU WOULD JUST SIT-- - AND THEN THE STRAIGHT?
  • - NO, LARRY, LARRY, LISTEN TO ME JUST FOR A SECOND.
  • - BUT THEN THE AISLE. - YOU WOULD JUST--
  • YOU WOULD JUST SIT ON THE SIDE OF THE PERSON
  • THAT WERE FRIENDS WITH OR THAT YOUR FAMILY'S MEMBERS,
  • JUST LIKE IN A STRAIGHT WEDDING.
  • - SO WE JUST GUESS WHO'S GAY.
  • - OR NOT. YOU COULD JUST--YEAH.
  • - WE'LL GUESS WHO'S GAY.
  • - OKAY. GUESS WHO--
  • - WHEN IN THE CEREMONY DO WE SINGOVER THE RAINBOW?
  • - WELL, YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T.
  • THIS IS A RELIGIOUS CEREMONY, SO YOU--
  • YOU WOULDN'T BE SINGING THAT DURING THE SERVICE.
  • - OH, ALL RIGHT. - YOU DONE WITH THE QUESTIONS?
  • - NO, I'M JUST ASKING.
  • - I'M NERVOUS 'CAUSE I CAN ONLY DO JAZZ HANDS
  • FOR ABOUT THREE MINUTES 'FORE MY HANDS START TO CRAMP.
  • - OH, SIR, I DON'T THINK ANYONE'S GONNA EXPECT YOU--
  • I DON'T THINK ANY-- I DON'T THINK ANYONE'S GONNA
  • EXPECT YOU TO HAVE TO DO JAZZ HANDS.
  • - NOW CAN WE SEE THE PONY SHOW FROM THE STRAIGHT SECTION?
  • OR ARE WE WAY IN THE BACK SOMEWHERE?
  • - MA'AM, AGAIN, THERE'S NO STRAIGHT SECTION.
  • WHAT IS A PONY SHOW?
  • - YOU KNOW, WHEN Y'ALL GO LIKE THIS.
  • - NO, THERE WON'T BE--
  • THERE WON'T BE ANY OF THIS DURING THE CEREMONY.
  • - OH. OH.
  • - WHEN DO WE SINGYMCA?
  • - OH. - SIR, NOT DURING THE CEREMONY.
  • - OKAY.
  • - WHAT ABOUTMACHO, MACHOMAN? - NO.
  • - I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BUY NO GAY PRESENTS.
  • - WELL, I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT A GAY PRESENT IS.
  • USUALLY, WHAT COUPLES DO IS THEY JUST--
  • THEY JUST REGISTER AT A STORE...
  • - HUH.
  • - LIKE A STRAIGHT COUPLE WOULD.
  • - THE GAY STORE, OR-- - JUST A REGULAR STORE.
  • - WHERE DO YOU GET THE EUROS TO BUY GAY GIFTS?
  • - ARE YOU SAYING EUROS?
  • YOU WOULDN'T-- YOU WOULDN'T USE EUROS.
  • - NO, IT'S--IT'S-- IT'S A GOOD QUESTION, FINNEY.
  • WE--WE SHOULD MAKE SOME EYE CONTACT
  • SO WE MAKE SURE THAT THE COMMUNICATION'S HAPPENING.
  • - YEAH. - I THINK HE WANTS TO KNOW
  • IS IT, LIKE, A--YOU KNOW, A DIFFERENT CURRENCY?
  • OR IS IT MORE LIKE CAMEL CASH?
  • - NOPE, JUST GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED U.S. DOLLARS, YEP.
  • - DO WE HAVE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE ANAL SEX?
  • - OH! - OR CAN WE JUST WATCH
  • AND CHEER IN A FIREMEN'S HAT?
  • - NO, THERE'S NO ANAL SEX AND NO FIREMAN'S HAT.
  • - OH, OKAY. - IT'S CUNNILINGUS.
  • - IS THAT A QUESTION, SIR?
  • - WHEN DO WE GET TO SING IT'S RAINING MEN,
  • HALLELUJAH, IT'S RAININGMEN?- YOU DON'T.
  • - SO THERE'S NO GAY HYMNS IN THE CEREMONY?
  • - SIR, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A GAY HYMN.
  • - WHAT? - WELL, DOES THE FAKE PRIEST
  • LOOK LIKE A REAL PRIEST OR LIKE A NUN?
  • - IT'S GONNA BE A REAL PRIEST. - OR...
  • - NO, THERE'S NO "OR."
  • - IS IT A SEXY BOAT CAPTAIN,
  • THEN HE TAKES HIS CLOTHES OFF?
  • all: OHH. - WHAT? NO. NO.
  • - DO WE THROW SOMETHING OTHER THAN RICE?
  • - LIKE WHAT, SIR?
  • WHAT WOULD YOU THROW OTHER THAN RICE?
  • - I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.
  • COUSCOUS. SKITTLES.
  • - GUYS, A GAY WEDDING IS JUST LIKE A STRAIGHT WEDDING, OKAY?
  • IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME.
  • - WELL, WHEN THEY KISS, IS IT OKAY TO STAND UP AND SAY, "EW"?
  • - NO, IT'S NOT BECAUSE IT WOULD BE--THAT WOULD BE HOMOPHOBIC.
  • - THIS FROM THE MAN WHO WON'T ALLOW GAY HYMNS
  • AT THE GAY WEDDING.
  • - OKAY, BUT LIKE A INVOLUNTARY GASP.
  • - I WOULD JUST, I GUESS, TRY TO CURB THAT BEHAVIOR.
  • - OKAY. I'LL--I'LL LOOK AWAY THEN.
  • - OH, MY GOD. - NOW, IS RUPAUL GONNA BE THERE?
  • - NO, I DON'T THINK DELROY KNOWS RUPAUL.
  • - UH, NEIL PATRICK HARRIS? - NO.
  • - OOH, DOOGIE.
  • - WHAT IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR PICTURE ON THE INTERNET?
  • - THIS IS RIDICULOUS! - EXCUSE ME, GARY.
  • "RIDICULOUS." IS THAT A GAY TERM?
  • - OKAY, YEP. I'LL SHOW MYSELF OUT.
  • - OH, HE'S A LITTLE TESTY, ISN'T HE?
  • - NAH, HE CAN GO. - GOOD LUCK.
  • - WE JUST TRYING TO FIND OUT HOW IT GO.
  • - LET'S GO, STEFAN.
  • - I THINK WE PRETTY MUCH GOT IT.

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Description

In preparation for their cousin's marriage to another man, a family asks a gay man questions about what the wedding ceremony will be like and for "advice" about attending.

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