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Video Men and Women Seek to Understand Each Other
14:18   |   today at 01:29


  • I don't think that a lot of men realize
  • how scary just they are hi my name is de
  • I'm from New Jersey originally and I'm a
  • publicist here in LA
  • hi guys I'm Brett and I work in film I'm
  • Gabby and I work in film as well
  • hey act hi everyone I'm kori a I'm from
  • Los Angeles and I'm an advertising and
  • recruiting
  • my name is Farhad I'm born and raised in
  • LA and I'm a writer nerd director my
  • name is Joe 25 years old and a marketing
  • coordinator here in LA
  • not to say that this is like a sound
  • fact or that you know there aren't
  • exceptions but I think you know men are
  • there they're built differently there's
  • they're stronger usually I can say yeah
  • physically is a one inherent difference
  • obviously it changes based on like their
  • race in general like the like where
  • they're from and stuff like that but I
  • think that women tend to sometimes be a
  • lot more over emotional and where men
  • tend to kind of respond a little bit
  • more stolidly and that might not be the
  • most like perfect way to say it but I
  • think of it do you think that's a
  • natural way that we are were born to be
  • or do you think that's how we're brought
  • up I think it's a mixture of both like
  • this might just be how society has
  • ingraining and they should react to
  • certain things - yeah men are supposed
  • to be this like sometimes uncompromising
  • unemotional person whereas women are
  • supposed to be volscian honest I think
  • that people sometimes like fall into
  • those categories even when they're not
  • supposed to be I feel like you know even
  • as a man like you know how I approach a
  • problem is like oh how can I fix this
  • thing whereas like a lot of my female
  • friends are like like I don't need to
  • fix it I just need to listen to this
  • person and and like for me like that's
  • just not my natural impulse yeah I think
  • there's so many men who people will say
  • oh yeah men are always strong or oh is
  • this always that well tell that to a
  • female UFC fighters would kick their ass
  • oh you know I'm saying and they're also
  • people who will say oh women are always
  • hyper emotional then thought to a
  • bleeding-heart guy who is just like the
  • biggest most passionate person I mean so
  • I just think generalization is always
  • problematic my husband is he's one of
  • those guys that cries in like every
  • movie you know and like I love that and
  • I'm like a very assertive fiery person
  • which is like generally attributed to
  • masculine quality which in itself is
  • problematic that we think like strength
  • is masculine problem-solving is
  • masculine
  • we're
  • all capable and we're all also have our
  • weaknesses
  • definitely I've experienced a lot of
  • disadvantages particularly in the
  • workforce in my position I'm pretty high
  • up I kind of sit on the right you know
  • right hand of the president but it's
  • just kind of interesting how I'm always
  • left with all these like administrative
  • tasks you know I mean and I'm level what
  • about him and him and him and him and
  • him but it's just I think it's natural
  • for people to associate administrative
  • work with a you know it's a feminine
  • role saying I work at a hardware store
  • and which is I get looked over all the
  • time because I'm like hi how can I help
  • you and there go I'm gonna ask this guy
  • like literally just or do not even talk
  • to me they'll just walk right past me
  • and go ask a man to touch on more like
  • disadvantages like just having to think
  • I think to be more conscious of a lot of
  • things like people say like walking to
  • your car at night or going for a jog or
  • just anything at night really I'm
  • thinking about it I was like well what
  • is a disadvantage of being a man and I
  • thought back to when I was six seven
  • eight and I was in the school yard and
  • in the classroom and my friend started
  • to police me cuz the girls weren't
  • getting policed from what I understand
  • the way that the boys were because the
  • boys were being told don't be like a
  • girl don't cry don't share your emotions
  • don't show your feelings because I
  • wanted to fit in
  • I embodied those ideas when I was
  • considering this question you know
  • derive disadvantages based on my gender
  • impulses just know like as as a white
  • man who've raised in you know
  • middle-class America like right off the
  • bat you have so many like lack of
  • barriers I should say you have you have
  • a lack of barriers for opportunity
  • well I just would like to let everyone
  • know that I do not open my own doors
  • [Laughter]
  • [Applause]
  • though seriously though if I'm walking
  • to if I'm with a male if I'm walking to
  • the door I won't touch the door um
  • however if I do open the door if I'm by
  • myself and there's people behind me I'm
  • keeping it open whole family females
  • males no problem at all
  • but if I am with a male I will not open
  • the door yeah I look real stupid too
  • because they usually stand there like as
  • a joke I'm like where does that
  • expectation come from oh I'm sure it was
  • just the way I was raised for me as a
  • guy like my instinct is like you know
  • how my dad taught me my brothers is just
  • like you know treat women with the
  • utmost respect and honor
  • I feel like chivalry is just something
  • that I'm like this is absolutely
  • something on a step into and to continue
  • and uphold I think that's like a really
  • beautiful way to put it I also think
  • it's not true like that's not born out
  • of like served because she's up here
  • it's because we don't it's it's the
  • opposite of empowerment the same reason
  • why a guy doesn't think that you can you
  • know what screw that is is the same
  • reason why they think they have to open
  • the door or why it hurts
  • why chivalry can hurt because the the
  • idea that like we have to protect and we
  • have to like do things for them it
  • translates I it's equal to the idea that
  • because they are unable to
  • [Music]
  • generally speaking I always feel pretty
  • comfortable when I'm with the opposite
  • gender I'm the youngest and I have three
  • brothers and I have a lot of male
  • figures in my life so I think that that
  • may influence my feelings on that I grew
  • up in a family full of women literally
  • mom had like three sisters like all of
  • them had pretty much girls and so I was
  • about 13 so 100% feel like I'm
  • comfortable with women being around me
  • I'm a gay black man so literally the
  • community just forgave black people or
  • just with gay people in general you
  • always had like your best girlfriend
  • that's gonna be there on your side
  • regardless of whether you just met them
  • or whether you've known them for 25
  • years I don't think that a lot of men
  • realize how scary just they are and how
  • many men just hang out like feel like oh
  • that girl could literally kill me like
  • that's a true thing come from a family
  • that's like has really strong female
  • personalities you don't doubt that
  • anything that they can do because they
  • were the defenders of the family they
  • were the ones that raised everybody they
  • were the strongest people on the family
  • so I don't I don't know I understand
  • your yeah I mean I in high school like I
  • was on the wrestling team I was one of
  • three girls on their all-boy wrestling
  • team and I was like yeah this is awesome
  • like I'm one of the guys it's cool and
  • you know one of the guys like held a
  • knife to my throat like behind the
  • bleachers a game and you know you you
  • want to be able to to trust and feel
  • like okay I don't know you so I'm gonna
  • you know give me give you my trust for a
  • little bit and then all of a sudden
  • you're on top of me when do I choose
  • you're like who do I choose and so it's
  • like I've never had that with a woman so
  • I don't think I've always been
  • comfortable and I am a very private
  • person and so I'm very intentional about
  • the relationships that I build and about
  • the people who I am vulnerable to I
  • wasn't always comfortable sharing
  • emotions I heard from childhood to you
  • know my mid 20s or so I think it was
  • more of just like this like I mean
  • bottle it up I'll share with a few
  • people but it wasn't something I would
  • share freely and I think now where I'm
  • at is I see true power and
  • vulnerabilities share and not fear you
  • know judgment or shame when I am strong
  • in the way that I talk and just being
  • strong people are like oh you're angry
  • you're you know you don't make sense I'm
  • like no I make a lot of sense right now
  • you know just the fact that I have an
  • emotion makes me unreliable in some way
  • in people's eyes like we can't have a
  • woman running the country what if she's
  • on her period we'll go to war well I
  • haven't seen it yet I am only
  • uncomfortable in how I am perceived
  • because I do want to be perceived as a
  • competent person and somebody to be
  • trusted I have taught myself to become
  • emotional but from my family and from
  • being a black person in America I don't
  • think that I am comfortable being
  • emotional I feel like it's like me
  • losing control it's me being vulnerable
  • and I don't like being vulnerable to
  • anybody unless I choose to and I think
  • that that's it's a sad thing because
  • like I should be able to cry whenever I
  • feel like it but I don't or if I do
  • cries like I lost the family member last
  • year and broke into tears and work as
  • soon as I realized that I was crying I
  • stopped and I said I have to go home I
  • apologize I'm leaving right now
  • and that's that's just how I had to
  • respond to it and I don't think that's
  • healthy but it's something that I about
  • that's just my personal experience when
  • it comes to being a male a black male in
  • a mayor
  • [Music]
  • yeah I'm thinking it kind of goes back
  • to just woman being the most like
  • approachable people that I can come to
  • and talk about anything when it comes to
  • me or just my experiences like the
  • things that have to go through there are
  • a lot more understanding and I just feel
  • safe my experience again with the
  • opposite sexes it's been Pleasant you
  • know my entire life I've always felt
  • comfortable I've always felt understood
  • I've always felt like I had a voice you
  • know even if it's not again the voice in
  • the conference room I always felt like
  • I've always been respected I think like
  • as a general swathe like take looking at
  • it that way no men don't understand
  • women and it's because we're looking at
  • it as two different things like even the
  • idea of being assertive comes off as
  • being a bitch are you speaking from a
  • personal place or societal place because
  • I feel like you're you speak from a very
  • like big place instead of so it's all
  • the same because the question was I I
  • not like Society yeah do I feel
  • understood by men yeah no because they
  • don't view me as an equal can I see
  • question in this space do you feel
  • understood
  • I feel understood equally by all parties
  • great not but but you know like I you
  • know I believe that we're all image
  • bearers you know image bearers of God
  • and like that were equal and we're given
  • these different roles to fulfill and
  • then when you see uh two people dancing
  • and it's a beautiful choreographed equal
  • dance no one's out showing the other
  • person but when it comes to like
  • relationships with men and women like I
  • feel like these different roles can be
  • such a beautiful thing when done right
  • but can also be a disaster if one person
  • is you know trying to outperform or
  • other person is taking advantage
  • or overstepping like you said there's
  • such a beauty in differences and in
  • masculinity and femininity and it's
  • important to have both in yourself
  • [Music]
  • [Music]

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