Download subtitle and video from Youtube

Quicky way to download subtitle and video from Youtube: go to[youtube-id]
E.g. Change to

Video Bill Burr ROASTING People ◼ Try Not To Laugh 2018
15:06   |   02/22/2019 at 18:23


  • when did you start shaving your head uh
  • when did I start shaving my life saved
  • it my mom first my first special I had
  • it shaved elected ICU who's in the roof
  • there in the back you'll be right there
  • what would do a buddy cop shop exactly
  • right - balding old guys going after
  • some hairy criminal I'm not a big fan of
  • Steve Jobs personally what are you
  • talking about I just I don't know I just
  • don't understand what the big deal was
  • with that guy he's like Edison I don't
  • know he invented all this stuff that
  • everybody did he did he it's like did he
  • sit down and like I'm gonna invent the
  • iPhone and just sat there soldering
  • possibly welding right did he have like
  • a crew of guys helping him out sure
  • maybe he did why would he went to those
  • nerd fest didn't he have like a like a
  • like a chorus of scientists behind him
  • who helped him out - he walked out like
  • he was Tesla and into electricity I not
  • which they keep just kind of like told
  • people what to invent like he just kind
  • of came in like I want my whole music
  • collection in that phone get on it guys
  • yeah made it happen yeah and then they
  • have a big nerd concert and he goes out
  • there by himself
  • no belt you know sneakers on I just
  • didn't buy it yeah I'm a loner man I
  • don't like people so
  • okay yeah that my no I don't yeah I just
  • fit the avenue during Christmastime
  • you can't launch that go through my head
  • I just want to chop that tree down and
  • watch it land on people when you took it
  • out on Philly because they were a bad
  • crowd oh yeah you're famous rant you
  • since said you like Philadelphia and
  • that wasn't the issue you were just
  • giving people in Philly don't even
  • remember basically if you haven't seen
  • it I was doing a show for the Opie and
  • Anthony radio program and they had this
  • show called the traveling virus and we
  • were doing these like 10,000 Cedars and
  • we went to Philly and then notorious for
  • booing people and they booed the first
  • guy offstage and I went on like three
  • hours after that so by the time I got up
  • there was a complete shit show and I
  • don't know they started booing and I
  • snapped and decided I wasn't gonna leave
  • and I just attacked everything that they
  • love can women be funny yeah of course
  • but you guys just fucking grow up and
  • just sit down and write your own
  • horseshit and come up with it start your
  • own fucking show have your own awards
  • show quit waiting around for other
  • people to do shit for you that's the
  • fucking problem if you guys had your own
  • big club and I was standing outside of
  • it you'd never fucking let me in I'd
  • start my own shit you guys got to start
  • your own shit you got brains in there
  • right yes absolutely so write your own
  • shit and quit your fucking wine and
  • we're all eating the giant shit sandwich
  • out here nobody cares I don't care
  • well when was the last time you went on
  • stage you killed so hard the person
  • after you bombed if you're fucking doing
  • that on a regular basis people are gonna
  • notice regardless of what you have
  • between your legs
  • you know I feel bad for right now
  • McDonald's I feel bad for them why would
  • you feel because they backpedaled they
  • allowed fat people to blame them and
  • it's it's just over the second they made
  • the salad it was over
  • was over they said you know what it's
  • our fault
  • it's our fault it's our fault you fat it
  • isn't everybody knows it's fattening you
  • don't order 50 sandwiches right but
  • they're a business if you order fit
  • they're gonna give it to you that's not
  • their fault yeah and then you think
  • that's it right there what they invented
  • it's for kids and for when you get
  • hammered that's what it is
  • you go in there yeah at some point I was
  • gonna make a point here that's why I
  • keep looking at here and I just realized
  • I'm blocking myself out of the camera I
  • love that you have the jib camera for
  • this like it's an action movie let's
  • let's let's poop in at these two guys
  • sitting in these unbelievably small
  • chairs I literally feel like I'm gonna
  • fall onto the floor this is insane you
  • really went all out with the audience so
  • they got full-sized adult chairs these
  • like from the 20s before they had like
  • horse tranquilizers in our food and
  • everybody was like five foot one yeah
  • that that bet that dead after that bad
  • and nothing I'm making you mad nothing
  • enough of things have set me yes I I
  • don't know I don't want to look I fly a
  • lot and there's this whole new thing of
  • generation of people that take their
  • socks and their shoes off on the plane
  • you got to look at this smelly feet and
  • then they'll literally stand up and they
  • will walk into a commercial airline
  • bathroom yeah use it and then walk and
  • sit back down again that's not right
  • yeah if I was a dictator those people be
  • eliminated the second I saw the
  • Christmas lights I was like I'm going to
  • bomb this is it you're allowed to do
  • this it's not fake okay
  • get in a box and then get take it back
  • on your stapling up next year
  • what should go I love this do texting
  • for the entire interview it's just
  • trying to keep the attentions on
  • Millennials it's like impossible look at
  • him he's already got the change he's
  • probably got his own record label he's
  • like making deals as we speak he's got
  • championship rings on I don't know what
  • you do and do but I want your life man
  • you're crushing it so you and I could
  • not get comfortable in this fucking
  • chair this is just like one of the worst
  • things this should be like hitting
  • museum is like the prototype this is
  • what this was the awful level of comfort
  • we went from a log to this and then
  • eventually they got cushions it's
  • another guy looking at his phone I swear
  • to God through the day Jesus comes back
  • if he ever does if he's even a real
  • person like 90% of people are gonna miss
  • it they're gonna walk right he's gonna
  • be walking on the water and they may not
  • be walking by him and not even gonna see
  • it oh yeah there's a drop-off and famed
  • for Jesus at that point everyone was
  • everyone was paying attention now no one
  • gives a shit ah there we go
  • no but now this is like the ego one now
  • I'm going to be sitting above you you
  • didn't not have come with two it's fine
  • if so I served the one the one comedy
  • through line that's working here is me
  • shitting on this chair why would you
  • take that for me this is you're just
  • totally going against the grain I
  • understand it but you got on camera so I
  • think you get paid even though this is
  • online you see Sugar Shane Mosley one of
  • the greatest boxers of all time he's
  • losing his championship belt in a
  • divorce losing at think you're trying to
  • break a man what does she want those
  • they go with their shoes
  • when you get a divorce
  • all of a sudden costs like 50 grand a
  • month to give a kid Froot Loops
  • [Laughter]
  • [Applause]
  • gold-digging whores your character has a
  • lot of tats do you get those put on you
  • have you have a tab that says no no I
  • that's that's all my ink I have this mic
  • on so yeah that's all right gentlemen
  • help me I can't believe your
  • relationships don't work
  • we recently got a pitbull which I know a
  • lot of people don't like because they
  • ate a couple of kids I understand
  • they're great dogs unless you're a bad
  • owner if you're a psycho
  • which I am you can mess them up I didn't
  • I didn't realize that dogs feed off your
  • vibes like if you're cool if you're
  • chill they're chillin if you're sleeping
  • they're sleeping but if you're a psycho
  • like me and you're watching the game on
  • TV and you're screaming at the referee
  • you gotta be shitting right I didn't
  • realize the dog was in the corner being
  • like yeah being a mother is the hardest
  • job our most difficult job but if Oprah
  • said that Oprah said that yeah that has
  • your opinion on that on that phrase
  • changed at all since no it's not the
  • most difficult job on the planet
  • it just isn't dude I get roofing in July
  • I almost as a redhead I almost died
  • there's people there's people that work
  • on like oil it was that movie that guy
  • made the oil teal the fucking you know
  • when they grow me boil what is it there
  • will be blood without there will be
  • blood the out in the ocean they would
  • drill I can never remember the names
  • Mark Wahlberg Deepwater Horizon yeah
  • yeah those guys were working on an oil
  • rig the fucking thing blows up they're
  • on fire they got to jump into water
  • that's on fire salty water into their
  • woods you got to swim out of that oil
  • and fire and then tread water bring to
  • God that the Coast Guard is going to get
  • there before the Sharks do now talk to
  • me about a toddler though he was so
  • fussy today
  • you wouldn't need his piece what's up
  • with all these white kids now walking
  • around trying to act like the like
  • gangster rappers it's irritating
  • it's like everywhere I go man I figure
  • I'd just be here in the city we go to
  • mix of people you know I'll be like in
  • the middle of Kansas though like the
  • whitest state ever there'll be some
  • Howdy Doody looking white kid like me
  • you know I'm thinking this is one of my
  • peeps some have a conversation with all
  • say shit's like yo what's up kid who saw
  • up kid I just want to be like nothing
  • much Brad you know you're keepin it real
  • in Wichita what a fuckin gonna be a
  • gangster in the States say like Nebraska
  • you know what do you be like all
  • hardcore about your crop just in there
  • yo shit was crazy I'm saying well
  • fucking corn wasn't wrong
  • I'll fucking scarecrows tipping over and
  • shit you know all I'm saying son I just
  • want to be like dude you're white go to
  • the gap give in to it
  • buy some Dockers and come off and going
  • to gun stores and yeah and these
  • rednecks are all telling me the same
  • thing cuz I didn't grow up with guns so
  • they're just going alright you never had
  • a gun you want to get yourself a shotgun
  • it's got a great spread that's how they
  • keep saying it's got a great spread you
  • know anything you got a problem you sort
  • of whip around
  • dude I just want to shoot the guy I
  • don't have to do like a bunch of drywall
  • work my diploma I didn't think Lance
  • told anybody he didn't do anything to me
  • the only good for me he raised five
  • hundred million dollars for cancer
  • research that's what that lie did that
  • blocked out the Sun yeah it wasn't
  • cancer yeah it was annoyed and I hated
  • how Oprah was interviewing him and
  • acting like she was dumbfounded that
  • this guy would do this like she's been
  • in show business for 35 years and she
  • can't like wrap her head around some guy
  • doing whatever it takes to get to the
  • next level
  • didn't she for the first five years have
  • liked midgets who wanted to bang their
  • mailman's boyfriend and she and she
  • didn't want to do it she didn't want to
  • do it but she didn't have the power to
  • say no so she wrote it out and then when
  • she could make a good decision she did a
  • show but she stood on their heads
  • [Applause]
  • hamburger assistant again why can't mom
  • make dinner
  • ask her she's the one who abandoned her
  • post not to do it all the lady work I
  • got to leave to go do some man work and
  • there's anybody gonna get me flowers and
  • tell me I'm beautiful no no it's out
  • there marching for old Frank Murphy he
  • just watches the sands of his miserable
  • life gather at his feet while his wife
  • the modern woman throws on a pantsuit
  • every morning and yet there's my worker
  • bee um what is your go-to dance move
  • when challenged waiting for the director
  • to say cut well I'll tell you when I
  • when I saw my kid it wasn't I didn't
  • have like everyone's like you're gonna
  • burst out crying you're gonna blah blah
  • blah I was like scared of it like I was
  • sitting there like age ya buddy like
  • [Laughter]
  • afterwards they give it to me and I'm
  • hanging with her for the first time and
  • I'm feeling nothing and I literally put
  • my head down on the bassinet I'm going
  • oh my god I'm a serial killer
  • so bill do you go go yourself because I
  • was like googling the show oh god knows
  • I was googling this shit get trashed
  • enough on Twitter what do you know when
  • I did this show last night this is how I
  • think the Millennials are right somebody
  • I was wearing this exact same thing you
  • know I'm on the road so I'm gonna make
  • stain on my shirt
  • so I was wearing this exact same thing I
  • go on Twitter and somebody wrote you
  • know bill burr last night dressed like
  • an out-of-shape jerry seinfeld what so
  • like yeah I wrote but I can't say what I
  • wrote back I wrote like you did so and
  • something yeah it's like why don't you
  • heckle me when you're there I'm there so
  • crashing very funny so you play yourself
  • is it hard playing yourself as an actor
  • no that's what I've been doing my entire
  • limited acting career like real actors
  • are like Anthony Hopkins where he played
  • that serial killer and Silence of the
  • Lambs of electors yeah and then like the
  • next move that should have ended his
  • career like you should never been able
  • to see him as anybody else and then the
  • next movie he played like John Quincy
  • Adams and he was literally John Quincy
  • Adams my buddy saw this thing one time
  • John Travolta was talking about like
  • just the walks he's like Vinnie
  • Barbarino walked this way Vincent Vega
  • and walked this way like you know
  • whatever the guy from get shorty walks
  • this way and I just met with hearing
  • that going through all my characters
  • walk like me

Download subtitle


If Bill Burr gets going, no one can Stop him

Bill Burr describes and often portrays himself as the uninformed loudmouth in the bar. This is pretty accurate, in my opinion, and interesting for a number of reasons.

Comedians are moral detectives, and Burr’s style is one of the many ways society finds its moral boundaries probed by comedians. This shows how comedy, in this regard, is limitlessly diverse, and ever-changing, and more important in our lives now, than ever.

Burr’s deployment of anecdote and recruitment of common experience as (often insightful) social critique and general shit-talk/locker-room-banter air is relatable (often more so than late night T.V. and mainstream comedy’s the more erudite deconstruction of politics, society etc.) and a breath of fresh air. He is a relentless contrarian (like most comedians), but his original style is what makes him truly different.

Finally, Burr’s comedy has the heart. He lampoons furiously, but with heart. If comedy is art, then Burr proves, time and again, that great artists are ultimate, unabashedly, unapologetically themselves, and that, perhaps, we should strive to be too.

Please Show Your Love by Sharing this Video with Your Friends and Family.

▶️Follow me on Instagram:

▶️Follow me on Twitter:

▶️Read Articles on your Favorite comedians on

▶️Subscribe to our channel:

ThaLaughPlanet is all about Comedy. This channel gives you the latest updates on upcoming Standup Comedy, Comedians interviews, different types of humor and much more. So, please SUBSCRIBE to increase your knowledge of Comedy. Thank you! - Download Hi-Res Songs

1 Elohim

Holding Hands flac

Elohim. 2019. Writer: Quinn XCII;Jeremy Zucker;Elohim;Danny Parra;Corey Berkowitz;Antonina Armato.
2 P!nk

Walk Me Home flac

P!nk. 2019. Writer: P!nk;Scott Harris;Nate Ruess.
3 Katy Perry

365 flac

Katy Perry. 2019. Writer: Zedd;Katy Perry;Caroline Ailin;Corey Sanders;Daniel Davidsen;Cutfather;Peter Wallevik.

Happy flac

DEAMN. 2019.
5 Ariana Grande

7 Rings flac

Ariana Grande. 2019. Writer: Ariana Grande;Richard Rodgers;TBHits;Njomza;Michael "Mikey" Foster;Kaydence;Tayla Parx;Scootie;Oscar Hammerstein II;Victoria Monét.
6 5 Seconds Of Summer

Who Do You Love flac

5 Seconds Of Summer. 2019. Writer: Andrew Taggart;Talay Riley;Oak;Sean Douglas;Luke Hemmings;Calum Hood;Ashton Irwin;Michael Clifford;Trevorious;Zaire Koalo.
7 Bruno Mars

Please Me flac

Bruno Mars. 2019. Writer: J. White Did It;DJ White Shadow;Philip Lawrence;Bruno Mars;Cardi B.
8 Brooks

Better When You're Gone flac

Brooks. 2019. Writer: David Guetta;Emma Lov Block;Ido Zmishlany;Jackson Foote;Jeremy Dussolliet;Brooks.
9 Bonn

No Sleep flac

Bonn. 2019. Writer: Albin Nedler;Bonn;Martin Garrix.
10 Ariana Grande

Imagine flac

Ariana Grande. 2019. Writer: JProof;Priscilla Renea;Happy Perez;Andrew "Pop" Wansel;Ariana Grande.
11 Avril Lavigne

Dumb Blonde flac

Avril Lavigne. 2019. Writer: Mitch Allan;Bonnie McKee;Nicki Minaj;Avril Lavigne.
12 Avril Lavigne

Birdie flac

Avril Lavigne. 2019. Writer: J.R. Rotem;Avril Lavigne.
13 Avril Lavigne

Warrior flac

Avril Lavigne. 2019. Writer: Chad Kroeger;Travis Clark;Chris Baseford;Avril Lavigne.
14 Ariana Grande

Thank U, Next flac

Ariana Grande. 2019. Writer: Crazy Mike;Scootie;Victoria Monét;Tayla Parx;TBHits;Ariana Grande.
15 Ariana Grande

Fake Smile flac

Ariana Grande. 2019. Writer: Joseph Frierson;Mary Frierson;Fred Ball;Happy Perez;Andrew "Pop" Wansel;Wendy Rene;Kennedi Lykken;Priscilla Renea;Justin Tranter;Ariana Grande.
16 Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike

Selfish flac

Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike. 2019. Writer: Victor Thell;Michael Thivaios;Maria Smith;Jeff Porcaro;Dimitri Thivaios;David Paich;Dan Book;Will Grands;ANGEMI.
17 Ariana Grande

Needy flac

Ariana Grande. 2019. Writer: Tayla Parx;TBHits;Victoria Monét;Ariana Grande.
18 Dua Lipa

Swan Song flac

Dua Lipa. 2019. Writer: Dua Lipa;Justin Tranter;Kennedi Lykken;Mattias Larsson;Robin Fredriksson;Junkie XL.
19 Nichkhun

Home flac

Nichkhun. 2019.
20 Jason Derulo

Let's Shut Up And Dance flac

Jason Derulo. 2019. Writer: Bongo.

Popular this week

Related videos

TheTV in 90 countries