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Video Chelsea Handler Braces for a Scare!
03:36   |   11/18/2018 at 23:35


  • All right, last time you were here we
  • played who would you rather.
  • You ended up picking John Stamos,
  • which was a surprise to me.
  • It didn't seem like that would be your type.
  • You know what was a surprise to me?
  • I left here that day ready to go hook up with John Stamos,
  • and he went and had a baby with another woman since then.
  • Oh.
  • That didn't work.
  • So forget about him anyway.
  • He obviously didn't even--
  • he doesn't watch your show, A.
  • Yeah.
  • And B, doesn't respect me.
  • Oh, well.
  • So, yes.
  • Both of us are mad at him, then.
  • So, yeah.
  • Thank you.
  • So are you dating?
  • Are you single?
  • What's happening?
  • I really-- people are not into me.
  • I mean, sexually.
  • I mean, I would love to be dating somebody like, you know,
  • a man.
  • But I, they're not--
  • Somebody like a man?
  • Yeah, somebody like a man.
  • It doesn't even have to be a man, just
  • a little bit like one.
  • Uh-huh.
  • But yeah, I've got nothing.
  • I would appreciate any help you could give me.
  • I mean, or if anybody in the audience
  • has suggestions or a willing and able person.
  • What are you-- well, what are you doing about it?
  • I mean, do you--
  • Nothing.
  • You have a lot of friends who know a lot of people.
  • I mean, haven't they set you up with dates?
  • People don't really set me up on dates, and I don't blame them.
  • Because that's not going to probably go well, you know.
  • I mean--
  • That's no attitude.
  • That's not right.
  • Well, I mean, I would go on a blind date.
  • But most people just know that I'm a little--
  • I mean, I've been set up on a blind date like--
  • I once went on a blind date with a guy, an adult man,
  • who had braces.
  • Adult man.
  • Yeah.
  • A friend set me up with a man who had adult braces.
  • Uh-huh.
  • So that's not a friend, A. It's not a friend.
  • I mean, first of all, I appreciate
  • people taking care of their teeth later in life.
  • But take care of it and then get back to me.
  • You know what I mean?
  • Don't make me part of the problem.
  • I'll be part of the solution.
  • I don't want-- what is that going to--
  • an adult male in their 30s with braces
  • is a nice idea, if you could be quarantined during that time.
  • Did you ask them about it, how long--
  • maybe they were going to come off soon or something.
  • No, it doesn't matter, Ellen.
  • It's just-- it's not something I'm going to get down with.
  • We're not going to start making out
  • and then I'm going to leave with a bloody lip
  • and say, hey, when are you getting your braces off
  • so I don't have to go through this again?
  • Out of respect for other people, if you're an adult with braces,
  • you should not be--
  • I thought that was going to be a snake with braces.
  • Look, see how-- the hair on my arms is standing up.
  • I thought that was going to be a snake, by the way, with braces.
  • Well, I don't know how you put braces on a snake.
  • Would you date an adult woman-- if you weren't so madly in love
  • with Portia, would you date an adult woman who was going
  • through her stage of braces?
  • Sure.
  • That's not true, Ellen.
  • It is!
  • Of course I would.
  • It's not true.
  • Why is it so bad that someone had--
  • They hurt!
  • Yeah-- how do you--
  • Pikachu!
  • Everything hurts, OK?
  • It's a dangerous--
  • What did you say?
  • Pikachu is that my little special spot.
  • That's what I call it.
  • Pikachu?
  • Yeah, Pikachu.
  • Peek-a-boo!
  • You never know when it's gonna come out.
  • Yeah, Pikachu.
  • You've never heard that word?
  • Nope.
  • Oh, that's weird.
  • My family used it the whole time I was growing up.
  • That's weird--
  • No, that's just-- that's just either your family
  • or straight people talk.
  • I don't know what that is.
  • Pikachu, and then we called the boy part pachookey,
  • but I didn't have to use that a lot.
  • Well, first of all, we just want to see
  • what just happened, because you just
  • went on like nothing happened.
  • But this is why we did it, just to enjoy it.
  • Well, if you're an adult with braces, you should not be--
  • See, that was fun.
  • It is fun to scare people, yeah.
  • All right, all right.

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Comedian Chelsea Handler explained to Ellen why she’s not down to date an adult man with braces, but the joke was on her as Ellen scared her with that exact type of guy.


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