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Video John Oliver - Alaska's Blockbusters

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04:52   |   2M+ views   |   today at 07:05

Transcription

  • but it's true despite the fact that
  • Blockbuster filed for bankruptcy in 2010
  • there are apparently four independently
  • owned franchises still operating in the
  • United States three of which are in
  • Alaska which actually makes a little bit
  • of sense because internet coverage is
  • sparse out there and without unlimited
  • data streaming has been expensive and to
  • listen to an employee at one of those
  • stores their very presence is almost
  • magical I have people who come into the
  • parking lot just to take pictures in the
  • building people who come in and they'll
  • walk around like and you know that
  • person hasn't been in a blockbuster in a
  • long time you can just tell because
  • they'll also be like oh my god can't
  • believe you guys are still here what a
  • fun but potentially passive-aggressive
  • interaction that was WOW I thought you
  • has-been losers have been thrown into
  • the trash heap of history but you
  • weren't good for you I'm not to stream
  • literally anything I want see you later
  • punchline but his internet coverage
  • improves those few remaining Alaskan
  • blockbusters are under serious threat if
  • only there were a fun movie themed way
  • for them to draw people in you know the
  • way that Planet Hollywood sucks you in
  • with the chance to dine alongside the
  • baseball mitt that out active Madonna in
  • a league of their own
  • or Patrick Swayze's clay erection from
  • the movie ghost or Tom Cruise's original
  • wife you know incredible pieces of movie
  • history the problem is there is no way
  • for a blockbuster in Alaska to get
  • memorabilia like that all is there
  • because a few weeks ago you might
  • remember that we told you about Russell
  • Crowe the art of divorce an option in
  • which to celebrate the end of his
  • marriage he was selling artifacts from
  • his career from the gladiator chariot to
  • this leather jockstrap he wore in the
  • film Cinderella Man which was expected
  • to attract an absolutely ridiculous $500
  • well the auction took place last weekend
  • and you will be glad to know that no one
  • paid $500 for that jock strap one of the
  • more curious items that went under the
  • hammer was a leather groin protector
  • used by Crowe in the film cinder
  • it sold for $7,000 to the telephone
  • bidder it's not clear what they plan to
  • use it for holy shit
  • [Applause]
  • $7,000 that is a big price to pay just
  • to find out what Russell Crowe's ball
  • smelled like in 2005 I'm guessing lilacs
  • with just a hint of spoiled venison now
  • though he should know that there has
  • been some speculation out there that we
  • were the ones who bought that jockstrap
  • and I will admit it does sound like
  • something that we would do you know by
  • Russell Crowe's jockstrap and send it to
  • one of the last remaining blockbusters
  • in Alaska even that sentence is
  • absolutely incredible to say out loud
  • the bad news is we didn't do it I'm
  • sorry I'm sorry it wasn't us we didn't
  • buy it we did
  • [Applause]
  • holder what we didn't do what we did not
  • do is buy anything else at that auction
  • [Applause]
  • except we did though because what
  • happened was let me explain it was 4:00
  • a.m. over here and you know what happens
  • when you start online shopping late at
  • night you wake up the next day and you
  • think oh shit what did I just buy well
  • this was very much one of those times
  • because we didn't just get a jockstrap
  • we got a bunch of pointless Russell
  • Crowe memorabilia and I can think of no
  • more fitting place for them to reside
  • than an Alaskan Blockbuster so please
  • join me for a guided tour director's
  • chair from the film American Gangster a
  • movie I'd completely forgotten he was in
  • but he obviously remembered because he
  • not only took the back from his chair he
  • took the one from Denzel Washington's as
  • well which obviously we also bought now
  • but by the way General Washington's cost
  • more than his now you are probably
  • thinking well do you have one of Russell
  • Crowe's iconic movie costumes you know
  • something from the movie Gladiator well
  • no but only because we got something
  • even better the vest he wore in lame is
  • arabiya movie which khaki vest weakly
  • called a triumph and that's not the only
  • costume because we also got this hood
  • that he wore in 2010 Robin Hood which
  • looks like something a circumcised penis
  • would wear to administer a lethal
  • injection and finally we all know that
  • Russell Crowe here is - the manager of
  • the only remaining blockbuster in
  • Anchorage Alaska at 5600 - bar Rhodes
  • number 5 all of this shit is yours just
  • call us
  • four to eight hours and we will send it
  • to you

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Description

From HBO's Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.
All rights belong to HBO. Check out the official channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/user/LastWeekTonight

Keywords

russell crowe

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